Behind Her Smile

Hey!

So, this post I decided to put up against my better judgment. I'm still trying to get back into the spirit of things.

Please leave comments, thoughts, and such in the comments section.

Thanks.
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"My goodness, Tobi! You're so bad!"

I smile. I'm not so bad. Well, I could be worse. Much worse. Ari just needs to loosen up more. I was merely pointing out to her how hot the guy two tables away would look between the two of us in a more serene setting.

She always laughs when I make a pass at her. I laugh too, although I'm really not joking. I really do have a thing for her. The mere thought makes her uncomfortable, so I make my desires jokes for her amusement. Anything to keep her happy.

"You look fine, Ari. I wish you'd stop fidgeting."

She smiles coyly. Her insecurity has always been her biggest drawback. For the umpteenth time since I've known her, I wish she could see the beautiful woman everyone else sees.

She's wearing the same dress she wore the last time we were here. Strapless to show off her smooth shoulders, short to show off her amazing legs, fitted and cinched at the waist to shoi$w off her rocking body, and caramel to compliment her skin. I'd picked it out for her earlier and made her wear it for the rest of the day. It's still as hot as it was that day a year ago. I remember I'd joked about stealing it and altering it to fit me, and maybe stealing her body as well. She'd giggled a little and smiled.

"How are you, Ari?"

Lately, I've gotten better at telling when she's not okay. She smiles. That smile I've become too familiar with.

"I'm fine sweetie."

She's not. The light in her eyes, snuffed out. I can almost feel her struggling to keep up her cheery act. Sickening, the feeling is.

"Talk to me."

Those words..... As I utter them now, I ache to smack myself across my face. Talk about "too little too late". Should have noticed earlier. Should've seen through the lies, the "I'm fine"s, the fake smiles.... I'm her best friend. Some best friend I turned out to be.

Don't blame yourself, Tobi.

I scoff. How could I not? I stare at her now. Watch the single tear rolling down her cheek. She's still smiling. It hurts even more. I just want her to be happy.

I'll be fine, sweetie. You should eat. I have to go."

I reach out to hold her outstretched hand. It's warm, but just for a second, and then nothing. She's gone.

I'm alone again. Surrounded by music and cheery people eating and chatting away. My appetite fails me, so I leave.

I take the long route home. Earphones in, volume set to the highest, I let my feet find their own way, and my mind wander back to that day a year ago.

We were seating at the exact same booth by the window. I assumed there was some sort of party going on, because the place was packed. Our order was taking forever, and Ari and I had talked non-stop. Mostly arguing about the dress I'd practically forced her to buy and wear. My phone buzzed, and I was soon distracted by several chats.

"Tobi, I'm going on a trip."
I hadn't even glanced up. "Where to?"
"Not sure yet."
I kept typing away on my phone. "How can you be traveling if you don't know where you're going?"
"I just need to clear my head."
I'd put my phone down and stared at her. She was smiling, and I'd figured it was just another one of her episodes, as I'd liked to call them. "Fine, Ari. If you feel you need a vacation of some sort, go ahead. Just don't stay too long, okay?" She'd glanced at her feet. "Meanwhile, that guy over there is checking you out."
She'd giggled. "He is NOT! Stop it, Tobi."

I'm not walking anymore. I take a deep breath and open my eyes. I want to ring the bell. To be greeted by that cheery smile that came so rarely. To go up to her room and gossip all night and talk about a whole bunch of irrelevant things.

But I know she won't be there. Hasn't been, and won't be, for a while.

That night, I'd walked her home as usual. As we hugged in front of her door, she'd whispered in my ear "I'll be fine."

Sighing, I turn around and head home.

Johnnie Walker - #WhatsYourStory

Confidence imparts a wonderful inspiration to it's possessor. - John Milton

Ever been to that point where it feels like you've hit rock bottom? Completely overwhelmed by feelings of hopelessness and helplessness? Desperately seeking something to inspire you? Well, I've kinda been dwelling there recently. Indulging in self-pity, wallowing in depression, and making my mind a comfortable home to thoughts that are usually most unwelcome.

Part of the problem is, I can't write. Writing has always been the way I express myself. My release. My safe haven. I can always write down my thoughts and feelings, or stories, or random stuff, but lately I haven't been able to do any of that.

I get an idea for a story, and I just can't will myself to pick up my pen and notepad (or my phone) and write it down. Even when I try, I find myself questioning my ability to successfully execute the story, and so I just let the idea die. Now, I find myself staring at a blank page for minutes wondering what to write about.

I used to write stories on the spot, and then *POOF* Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Unfortunately, this lack of confidence has slowly begun to project itself unto various other aspects of my life.

There are a million and one ideas swimming around in my head, but I just lack the motivation. Making any attempt just seems like a waste of time. What would be the point?

Failure is, in a sense, the highway to success, inasmuch as every discovery of what is false leads us to seek earnestly after what is true, and every fresh experience points out some form of error which we shall afterward carefully avoid - John Keats

One of my teachers at school used to say "Sometimes, you need to fall so you can take a quick break before getting back up and continuing stronger."

I'm scared of failure. It's the reason why I haven't gone after a lot of things I really want to. It's a terrible feeling when I enter a contest and lose, or I go after something and don't get it.

I've tried to go after some of the things I want. I expected the obstacles, but still broke down and gave up when I encountered them instead of finding a solution to the problem. Like I half-expected them to just solve themselves, or be taken care of by someone else. It almost never works out that way though.

Problems never fix themselves. Yes, the solution may, in fact, be in the problem itself, but you need to DO something about it, and not just wish it away, or add it to your list of excuses.

Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It's easy to give up. To lose hope, resign to failure, and just tag it "fate". I've been close myself. Dangerously close. But the truth is you only truly fail when you truly stop trying.

With the help of the most amazing people in the world (my friends), I pulled through. There comes a time when you just have to suck it up, and make a conscious decision to keep moving. Your problems are only as hard/difficult as you let them be.

If you truly want something, don't just want it. Go after it. If you fall, you get up and try again. I try my best to never regret anything I do. Even when I make mistakes (and I do a LOT), I learn from it and move on.

I WILL get where I'm going to. There's a wall in my way, and I have several options.

1). Walk through it with my super powers.
2). Hit it until it breaks or gives way
3) Go around it
4). Go over it
5). Go under it.

As life would have it, the day I made the decision to stop throwing myself pity parties with an attendance of just me and keep trying, I got the email that led to me writing to this post.

Something big is coming from Johnnie Walker. So, go ahead and like their facebook page.

This post may be an advert, but it's also my way of sticking my foot in a door that I saw closing. It's not too late to turn things around for you.

Keep walking.

A Cheery Message From @boluxxxx

So, you may or may not know I'm kinda going through a bit of a rough time right now. Which is kinda why I haven't posted.

Anyhu, @boluxxxx sent me a bc that actually made me laugh. Yeah. So, I decided to share :D

NA BY FORCE TO MARRY?
During a wedding reception; the groom was called upon to give his vote of thanks to his guests and this is what he came up with:
1. I want to first of all thank the Lord Almighty for creating my wife and to also thank the pastor and his wife for lending us their wedding rings.
2. Special appreciation to my landlord who lent us his car.
3. I am most grateful to my boss for... approving the loan I used for the wedding.
4. Big thanks to the committee of friends for the appeal fund they raised on my behalf.
5. Also to my brother's wife, thank you for lending us your wedding gown.
6. Am so grateful to the cake designer for the cake. I promised to return it tomorrow morning as agreed without cutting or eating out of it.
7. Special thanks to my friends who brought food from their homes to help me feed you all. Please for those who were served food good luck and for Those who didn't get any, well we will make it up to you during our child dedication ( hopefully next year).
8. Very big thanks to my parents for bringing the village cultural band to supply the music as well as entertain us all here, today.
9. Not forgetting the church marriage committee, thank you for persuading my wife to marry me.
10. Appreciation to the married men in the church for rushing me into this marriage.
11. The women are not left out, thanks a lot for teaching my wife how to dance.
12. To the youths, thank you for sweeping and decorating this venue with palm fronds.
13. I am also grateful to my teenage friends for helping with the Zobo drink
14. Appreciation to my co-tenants for contributing money for the cameraman
15. Well, I wish you all safe journey and I pray you don't experience what I suffered for this wedding.

Thank you, Bolu ... Y'all have a blessed week.

Also, go to 19th Street and subscribe to follow the 30 Day Guest Blogger Challenge.

Peace, Love & Ribena

(•͡.̮ •͡ )♉

A Post of Sorts

*attempts to clear dust and cobwebs* :| *sits on newspaper instead*

My country peepu!! Happy October!!! It haff tey since I was here. But we're glad to be back. Yes, yes! We are!

WARNING: This post contains information that may or may not be your business. It will be frightfully long and incredibly boring and most likely disjointed as my thought pattern right now is starving (as is my stomach). I will also attempt to be funny. And I will be advertising blogs. Why? Because I can. Feel free to close the page now. Or bear with me :)

So! This post was supposed to go up on the first. It didn't because, as you must have realised, I'm just writing it. I thought maybe it would be cool to put it up on the 8th. You know? Cuz it'll be exactly one month since my last entry. As a badt goizes :D But, I'm awake now, so why wait?

Now. Why haven't I written in the past month? Well, honestly, for a number of reasons. I will not pin the blame solely on writers' block. Nope. I'm going to give as much detailed information as I possibly can. :) why? Because I can.

Firstly, my writing skill/technique/style/whatever was being questioned. You see, I'm probably the most insecure writer on blogsville. *sigh* Yes. So, when my piece on Decades II went up, and a certain someone (who shall be named later) said he reads my stories like a mills and boon novel, my insecure self zoned in on that. Didn't help when someone now said "I tire from the topics woven common within your stories". Can you imagine? :| So, I decided to do some soul searching. I did! I really did! And do you know what happened? I started questioning myself and my writing. It wasn't a small something oh! And then even though almost everyone kept telling me my stuff is okay, I went ahead and tried something different. The result. I sent in a piece I wasn't ultimately comfortable with for The Writer's Round-A-Bout and nobody liked it. It killed my soul :(

So, I kept thinking. "What should I write about?" Aliens and Sci-fi stuff definitely out already :( I thought maybe I could write about my many kitchen adventures. Like my super sexy noodles that you'd die to try :D , or the time I left a pot of rice on the fire and went out for about 10 hours :| , or maybe how I have to wrap my hands in like three nylon bags before I even consider touching tatase. OR I could write about how some people don't know when to visit people. Like my cousin who packed her entire household (husband, 6 children and a maid) to my house without calling anyone first. :| Or annoying guests who come to the house and ask me to cook for them *yimz* because I resemble house girl in training. *sigh* so many things to write about...

But, after giving it some serious thought, this is what I've concluded in my mind.

I can't do rants as awesomely as @miafarradaily. I'm not even remotely as funny as @Sirkastiq, who actually had people crying when he put up his last post *rme*. I actually thank God for small mercies like not being as mentally unbalanced as @Terdoh. I don't do deep, or dark and twisted, or gore like the afrosays team (@xoAFRO & @UberBetty) that get like 20 "deep" comments on a post, or @weird_oo. I'm not as opinionated as @Qurr whom I love for his ability to intricately weave an interesting piece no matter what it's about. Even his comments sef...Always keep my dictionary open. And, I love bible stories, but I simply can't write about them. Not as interestingly as @tomboxe anyway. I definitely can NOT do love posts like @bule_jr who has taken it upon himself to tackle the world's relationship problems and what-not. None shall rival the queen of sadness @Ms_Dania, and I can't churn out long, kinda confusing, sometimes boring, albeit awesomely written, posts like @ekwem. I don't even want to talk about @thetoolsman or @AlchemistXIII -_- And even though I love to read @awizii's stuff, it mostly reminds me how sucky my attempts at poetry are.

Why did I fill that paragraph with links to people's blogs? Because I can.

Seriously though. These are some of the writers that inspire me. I'd love to write about what they write about, but I can't. Why? Because it's their thing. Not mine.

I write about sex, and threesomes and abuse, etc etc because I'm a virgin like my dear friend, @OlaToxic, and I would really like to get some. :|

But really. Everyone has stuff they're comfortable with writing. This is mine. And although I do try to branch out, I'm very slowly coming to terms with the fact that this just might be my niche. Yeah. So, I'd like my writing to be accorded the same respect I give everyone else's. I accept constructive criticism and the likes, but if you really do find my writing boring, and predictable, and such, I wouldn't like you to keep enduring such torture. Don't read it. It really isn't by force. I read as much posts as I can. If I find it boring along the way, I stop instead of straining my brain. It's really that simple.

But for those who keep coming back, I really am working on something I think maybe might be a little different. And it's going to feature other writers I really respect like @nwaokpoechi, @d3ola, @Aeda_, @Phatiei, @rhaiharnah, @UberBetty, and some other surprise writers :D (yaaay!)

Oh. And appaz, @Reine_LaGlace liked my blog enough to give me an award. Not sure what award it is, or what I'm supposed to do with it (would've preferred cash), but I'm shallow enough to accept it gracefully :D. So, I'm supposed to post a link to the blog of the person who gave me the award (which I've done), say something about myself (please refer to 30 Facts About Me), and then pass the award on to some other bloggers. I think I've covered that. Save a few blogs that I'll link in the next part of this amazing cool story.

So, thus ends my blog exile.

Does this mean my writing will improve? I hope so. Not making any promises though.

But sha, it's very likely that this might be my last blog post. :(
I said 'might' oh! But... *sigh*

Now...

The past couple of months have been rough for me. Lots of complications, emotions flying everywhere, decisions to make... *sigh* But God has been my strength and my comfort :). He's been awesome to me. Honestly. And he's given me such amazing friends who stuck with me, and kept me from going insane, and making stupid decisions and what-not.

Yes, I'm one of those people who live online. So, yeah. I know not everyone you meet on twitter/facebook/yahoo chat rooms/blogsville is your friend. But honestly, I've met THE MOST AMAZING people on twitter/blogsville, and I can proudly say they are the most awesome friends anyone could ask for :)

So, this is saying "Thanks" to @MrOmidiran and @d3ola (who've been with me through it all), @Aeda_, @ibetapassmynebo (my love), my darling @FreshPrinzVick, @bule_jr, @HL_Blue, @Ms_Dania, @MallamSawyerr, @OlaToxic, @Immortal_Teddy, @bolufisher, @nwaokpoechi, @AyoB_, @xoAFRO, @thetoolsman, @awizii, @Mz_Smiler, @9ineBz, my mum @Chidioma, and @AlchemistXIII for being there directly and indirectly. Talking to me, and checking on me, and praying, and just being there when I needed/need to rant. You guys are awesome. I can't forget to thank the love of my life, <3 Ribena <3

If I forgot anyone, I'm sorry.

Because of all the love and support the beautiful people listed above have shown me, I can look at my darling princess, who's one month old today, and smile :D because I know I made the right choice. She's the best birthday present I could have ever hoped or asked for. (Yeah, I had her a day before my birthday ^_^)
You: OMG! You had a baby?! :o
Me: *wears cool shades* Yes boss!
You: Stop lying jhor!
Me: *sigh* no one ever believes me :(
You: But you're a virgin na
Me: :| I know
I will not put up her picture, or write her name here because, quite honestly, some of you scare me. :|. Seriously. But you may refer to her as "Ori Nri II"

I haven't been as absent as I would like y'all to believe. Been reading all the blogs I'm subscribed to. Opening links and what-not. Reading your timelines *shudder*. Some of your comments on some posts... Too much salt. Mhen! Y'all need to calm your titties! I'm sure most of you know the blog I'm talking about. However, I will not dignify them by posting their link here.

Some people need to stop taking posts p. Unless you see something along the lines of "this is based on a true story" somewhere in the post, please stop acting like it's about your uncle's wife's aunty's third cousin's neighbour. Those sooth sayers who predict the end of stories, I hope they're paying you well for that job. And those who bash posts and start fights in the comments section, more grease to your elbows :)

In fact. You know what? I'm gonna pass on this award to every blogger I follow. You know why? Because I've seen something worth taking note of on every blog I've seen. Sure, some stories are drab or not well edited, or poorly constructed. But if we keep knit picking at everything and putting people down, you might just crush the dreams of the next John Grisham, or Nora Roberts, or Frank Perreti or something. You know? So, instead of beating people down, offer constructive criticism.

So, this award goes out to..

@Adm3on
@CapoeiraPanda
@ChykElfarooq_RJ
@cikk0
@darkpoet_
@MsCantFindAName
The members of PTS
@nugwatweets
@SlevinCalevra
@AOT2
@TurieMac who actually has two blogs.
@Griffinstreaks
@SheriphSkills
@Sandie_Pandie

These are the ones I could think of off the top of my head. But, feel free to post links to your blogs in the comments section, cuz this is for you too.

I'm sorry, I don't have a fave blog, or a fave writer. Everyone brings something different, so I can't really decide *Cece shrug*.

This piece pretty much sums up what I've been trying to say.

I'm getting bored. Peace out. (‾⌣‾)♉

SIDENOTE: Those whose blogs were publicized should expect my bill shortly.
Feel free to RT this link.

Tobi

“What exactly are you saying, Mrs. Ibekwe?” my wife, MaryAnn, asks the principal in that soft, calm, barely audible voice that had attracted me to her in the first place. She seems to be well in control of the situation, and thus I have resigned myself to watching and silently gauging the situation. I haven't yet felt the need to speak. Maybe if things got a bit more escalated....

I shoot a side glance at my daughter, standing between her mother and myself, fingers clasped in front of her, head bent low, staring at her feet. She's obviously trying really hard to look remorseful, but I know she's cooking up something in that mind of hers. I can almost see the wheels turning in her skull. The amount of intelligence my daughter possesses is far too advanced for her age, in my opinion. And, in as much as the outstanding academic performance that this intelligence yields makes me proud, it sometimes gives me cause to worry. This is one of those times.

Whatever she's scheming, a part of me knows I am the focal point. My darling MaryAnn is hardly the disciplinarian. She seldom ever yells, and never raises a hand to any of the children no matter how upset they make her. Well, at least not with Tobi. Admittedly, I am largely to blame.

Tobi is our youngest of seven girls. Yes, seven girls. As much as I'm ashamed to admit it, my actions and some words may have pushed MaryAnn to keep trying for a boy. When she conceived the seventh time, I was certain the child was male. Call me stupid, but I went ahead and got prepared without even so much as a confirmation ultrasound.

The delivery day was a punch bowl of emotions for me. I dare say I was even more anxious than my wife, who was simultaneously screaming and breathing. I stood next to her and held her hand while she pushed. I don't remember how she ended up in my arms. I simply remember the doctor announcing "It's a girl.", and then feeling something I couldn't quite describe as I held her against me.

I held her in my arms, and resolved that she would be my treasure. The one to end my waiting and fill the hole I'd left open, for what seemed like a millennium, in expectation of a male offspring. Nothing I bought was returned or put in storage. I'd spent good money in preparation for a son, and God forbid I let it waste.

Access to Tobi was restricted. I had a business to run, so I had to set up an office at home just to ensure she was constantly under my supervision. No creche or kindergarten, I was Tobi's tutor. Why waste perfectly good money on those ridiculously exorbitant babysitters when I could teach her all she would need to know myself? I selfishly kept Tobi to myself, away from her sisters, and time with her mum was the bare minimum.

Work started taking a toll on me, and I had to enroll her in a primary school. But I made sure she was thoroughly engaged with sporting activities, and I continued to spend all my free time with her. Showering her with trips and gifts, and spoiling her against my better judgment.

I taught her as well. To be strong, physically and otherwise, assertive, and hard working. I taught her what it means to be a man. To know what she wants and go for it. To never back down, never show fear. I built her. I thought I could mold her into the son I'd always wanted.

Most of this molding occurred on camping trips I started taking her on when she was eight. Sadly, it was also on one of these camping trips that things started to go awry.

Being with me all the time, Tobi had seen and heard a lot of things. Most of which she shouldn't have. I'd noticed she'd started behaving inappropriately, but brushed it off. At most, I scolded her on few occasions. That particular night during our camping trip is easily my worst memory. Thinking about it now sends chills down my spine.

At bedtime she complained of being cold, so I'd invited her to come share my sleeping bag. Waking up in the middle of the night to my baby grinding her naked body against me was beyond shocking. I'd stared in disbelief for a couple of seconds before addressing her. When did she take her clothes off? And why are my shorts pulled down? "Tobi, what are you doing?"
"I'm so cold, daddy. I'm just trying to get warmer."
"Where are your clothes?". Silence. "Tobi! I asked you a question."
"In the corner."
"Tobi, stop this right now and go put your clothes on."
"No."
"No?" Needless to say, I was beyond shocked. Tobi had never disobeyed me.
"No. I want you to teach me" And then I felt her tiny hands close around me. "Like the girls in those videos you watch."
My baby was jerking me off. I should have pulled away. I shouldn't even have been hard. But I was. And I was enjoying the feel of those soft, little palms slowly sliding up and down my shaft. And then, I made the single biggest mistake of my entire life. I whispered in her ear as my hand slid round her and cupped her mound. "You can't tell your mum, or anyone at all, about this.".
"I know, daddy. And you're mine now."

She'd gone on to torture me with guilt and threats from that day on. I was potty in her hands, and she bent me to her every whim and desire.

Getting her to go off to boarding school was the absolute worst. I'd pretended to be against it, but was glad my wife was insistent. Convincing Tobi was the difficult part. Eventually, she gave in when I told her people would suspect there was some inappropriate relationship going on between us if she stayed home.

Now, here we are.

My mind is drawn back to the present, and I watch Tobi intently. She's avoiding eye contact. Tapping her feet. “Tobi.” She looks up at me. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
“Daddy, I’m sorry. But I really like Anari. I didn’t mean to upset anyone.” The look in her eyes are defiant. Like she's secretly daring me to punish her. I'd taught her too well.

My wife starts to mumble something about her speaking nonsense and the principal is going on about one punishment or the other. I think she's suggesting suspension. But all that didn’t matter. My eyes are locked on Tobi's. Without her uttering a word, I know. This is her revenge for being sent away. Now, she was daring me to keep her away. Knowing there would be hell to pay for the decision I'm about to make, I paste a smile on my face and look up at the principal. “That won’t be necessary,” I said. And then I turned to her. “Tobi, go pack your things. We’re leaving.”

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Hi. So, I'm here again with my monthly post. This was kinda inspired by my contribution to decades II. Some of the comments made me decide to attempt to write it from the father's perspective. He's supposed to be the victim. I'm not sure how well I've portrayed this, which is why I'm putting this after the story. I wanted you to read it, and have your own individual, unpolluted thoughts about it.

So, please leave your unbiased comments below. I'd really appreciate it as I'm trying to broaden my scope (that's the correct phrase, ba?). Thanks.

Frisky Business - @ThisBoyPerforms

Today's pieace is by @ThisBoyPerforms. Personally, I like it because it's an actual story and not an attempt at poetry like most people seem to be turning in. Not that I have anything against poetry at all.

Anyhu, enjoy. If you're still interested in sending in a draft, that's cool. It's still eezykrys@yahoo.com. Please, try to make your pieces as creative and enjoyable as possible. Anything worth doing is worth doing well, no?

Cece out!

*kilzes*
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His McLaren Benz was waiting, engine running, an attentive valet ready to usher them into the car.

She got in and leaned back against the plush leather. "This is crazy behavior," she said, tingling with anticipation.

"Crazy," he agreed.

"And exciting."

"You got it."

The car surged forward, scattering idle passers-by. He drove down the short stretch of road leading to the intersection, waited impatiently at a red light, and took off like a rocket all the way to his hotel.

"Why here?" She asked, as he helped her from the car.

"Because it's where I live."

"Good evening, Mr. Femi," said the doorman.

"No apartment? No house?" She persisted.

"This is home."

"Good evening, Mr. Femi," said the desk clerk as they walked past.

"No family? No roots?"

"Has anyone ever told you ask too many questions?"

"Frequently."

"Good evening, Mr. Femi," said the elevator operator.

They rushed into his suite like impatient lovers - which any minute they were to become. And as soon as the door closed they fell on each other with indecent haste - removing clothes with a no-nonsense speed bordering on the obsessive.

"Christ! You're beautiful!" He breathed.

She trailed her fingers down his chest. "And you're just as beautiful."

There was no conversation after that as he took her with a powerful urgency. It was something he had to do before he could even begin to think straight.

And it was like that for her too. They were both holding back, and their mutual release was fast and sweet - earth-shattering and very, very necessary.

Now they could relax and enjoy the sinful pleasures of discovering each other's body. Which was exactly what they did, slowly and luxuriously.

Leading her into the bedroom he laid her on the bed, and began - with exquisite restraint - to carefully explore every inch of her smooth, taut body.

She responded by touching his skin with the tips of her fingers, feather-stroking his chest, until his further pleasure became only too obvious.

"I'm glad to see you're a man of action," she murmured happily.

"For you - anything!"

"Just because you want me to talk to my father for you . . . "

Tantalizingly he started to kiss her neck, moving down at a leisurely pace, relishing the piquant taste of everything about her.

She enclosed his hardness with her hands and teased his unquenchable desire, until the slow, erotic pace of things turned once again into fervent, reckless lovemaking.

And after the second time they fell asleep, wrapped in each other's arms, peaceful and voluptuously content.

Midnight Guests

Hello! :D

So, I promised I'd put something up at least once a week while I'm gone. Think of this piece as a show of good faith (or whatever the phrase is). It a sequel of sorts to a previous post. For those who don't remember (I don't want to imagine you didn't read it), here's the link A Thief In The Night. I really advise you read it before this one, but... *shrug*

So, yeah. I don't really know what prompted me to write this, but I did. So I hope you at least enjoy it a bit.

Later luvies *kilzes*
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Nelly Furtado was singing softly in the background for my personal entertainment, as I lay stretched out on my bed.. It was late, and I really wanted to be asleep, but the sandman had been stingy with his dust, and agro is a pissed off female dog. And dear Nelly, sweetly cooing to me, couldn't be asking any question more appropriate for the mood I was in. Why do all good things come to an end? About two months ago, I'd embarked on a late night adventure that hand scored me some serious booty. But that night, I laid there alone and horny.

It had all started when I wanted to purchase the PSP Go. I'd been anticipating a sharp decline in it's exorbitant price, and had finally gotten a good deal. I'd quickly withdrawn my savings and collected from all my debtors, but I was still a bit short. As a last resort, I'd turned to my cousin, Deola. Before asking, I'd made sure she had the money buy going through her wallet, so I wouldn't be asking for too much. Deola had lived with us since she lost her parents when we were still in secondary school. She was kinda like my older sister, but we didn't necessarily always get along.

I can not perfectly describe my feelings when she said "No." without looking up from the magazine she was reading. No excuses, explanations or apologies offered, just open rejection. I sat across from her at the kitchen table, stunned, upset and furious. I daresay my decision to steal the money was immediate. If she wouldn't give it to me, I would take it. What was she doing with money anyway? Nothing was coming between me and my gaming.

And so I bid my time, waiting for the perfect opportunity, and then I struck. I'd successfully sneaked into her room and taken the money, and was about to leave, when things got a bit out of hand. To cut a long story short, that night changed a lot of things between Deola and I. We began an affair of sorts. I started making frequent midnight visits to her room whenever I needed to take a load off, or whenever she text to say she needed me, and we would help each other out, the thrill of getting discovered by the parents making it all the more exciting.

We continued this relationship of convenience for weeks, and all was dandy. She never complained, and, as far as I knew, neither of us expected more than sex from the other. So, imagine my surprise when she cut me off. First, the texts stopped coming. I'd just assumed she wanted me to keep coming down whenever I felt like, and didn't dwell on it. Then she started giving me excuses whenever I went to see her. It was either her period, she was tired, or she had one pain or the other. It finally dawned on me what had happened the night I went down and met her room door locked. I knew better than to push the issue, and had returned to my room, dejected.

I sighed as memories of nights we'd spent together flooded my mind. The sounds, the smells, the amazing feelings, it was all too much and my hardening rod felt the same way. The only way I was going to get any sleep was by helping myself out it seemed, so I picked up my PSP Go, browsed through my collection of porn, applied some lotion, and let my hand get to work. It wasn't long before my eyes were closed and I was lost in my own fantasies of driving into Deola's wet tightness. Stroking myself as precum oozed out, I moaned her name several times. Softly at first, and then a bit louder. Secretly hoping she would somehow hear me and come to my aid.

"I'm here." At first, I thought it was in my head, but then my eyes flew open when I felt warmth around the tip of my rod. There she was, standing by my bed, all smiles and sparkling, lust-filled eyes. I glanced down and saw the cause of the warmth I was still feeling. Her friend, Anwuli, was at work on my shaft, sucking tenderly. I couldn't believe it. I opened my mouth to ask what they were doing, but Deola's lips were on mine before I could utter any words. Tasting the alcohol on her tongue as she kissed me, I got the idea. I didn't care if this was all a ruse or real, I was going to enjoy it.

I lay back on the bed as Anwuli sucked me off, pulled Deola on top me, grabbed her ass, and dragged her forward so her crotch was in front of my lips. She hadn't bothered with underwear, and my tongue gratefully snaked it's way into her honey pot. Warm, sticky wetness greeted me, and I sensed the fun had begun before they got to my room. I could hear her moan as my tongue probed her depths and my lips sucked and tugged at her clit, and the sound drove me into a frenzy. I started thrusting into Anwuli's mouth with a lot more strength. To my surprise, and amusement, I met no resistance. My shaft slipped in and out of her mouth, and, occasionally, down her throat, with ease. I felt myself tense and reached down to hold her head down as I thrust in deep and poured into her throat. She took it like a pro, swallowing and sucking every bit of my cum out of me. I hadn't even noticed Deola had slid off my face during my rush. I watched as she crawled over to Anwuli, dragged her head off my rod, and kissed her full on the lips. Oh crap. I was getting hard again.
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Well, there. :).

Before I go, please check out @CapoeiraPanda's latest piece Goodbye. It's a response to my post Say Hello To Goodbye. You might want to read them side-by-side if you can. I just loved it so much, and want you all to see it :D. I apologize for the numerous links.

NB: Still accepting drafts. Send to eezykrys@yahoo.com.

...xo

He Isn't There

He's not there to hold her when she cries
He's not there to wipe away the tears
He's not there to promise it'll be okay

It all seems meaningless and stupid
How urgently she needs him
She sits folded in a corner, rocking. Mute

Her heart, it pounds
Her soul, it yearns
Her hope, it dwindles

His voice drowns hers out
His words erase hers
His comfort eases the pain

The pain, it grows stronger.
Threatens to take over.
Accepting no surrender

She needs him to hold her close
She needs the tears to flow
She wants him to never let her go

But he isn't there

The Power of the Sun

Hey. :)
So, today's guest writer is a friend of mine @BonnieLilacGrey. She's really awesome, and when she sent in this piece I felt so close to it, I had to put it up. You can check out her blog if you wish. For now, enjoy this piece.

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Ever since I got into the university, I have noticed the sunrise and sunset a lot more than I did before. Babcock is an annoying school but its serenity is very calming and might I say, it's what we crazy people need sometimes.

I like how as the sun goes down, the sky changes color from bright yellow to golden yellow to bright orange to brown which fades into black. In the case of Babcock, it turns red. That sight ALWAYS blows my mind. When the sun rises, its just the opposite so, its basically the same feeling.

On this particular day, I had done something stupid. Something so stupid, I never want to say out loud. What hurt me most was that I did it to someone I truly love. It really wasn't an act of love at all. He had forgiven me but for the fact that this wasn't the first time I had done it, I found it a tad difficult to forgive myself. So my insomniac self slept myself to a headache. I woke up nervous and my head was about to fall off.

My mother sent me to the kitchen to finish making dinner (seeing as I didn't cook the stew). I saw rays shooting through the kitchen window, so I opened the heavy iron door. Through the netted door I watched the bright yellow sun fall through the large tree in my view. The tree was tall and it's leaves were spaced so I didn't really miss out on the sun going down. I stared at it as it changed color. Every single time was fascinating. There wasn't one time I had watched the sun go down or rise that I wasn't in complete awe. I felt like the God we all couldn't see or feel was right in front of me. Like the day I touched a moving train, I felt so comforted by the fact that I was in the presence of something significantly bigger than me. Nothing is impossible if the sun can move in such a manner. Right then, nothing on the planet could touch me. It was like since God was right there, whoever or whatever tried to touch me would be smitten by some powerful ray of light.

All of a sudden, my neighbor turned on his gen. Why the hell wasn't he smitten? I had to close the door. I wasn't feeling so much better but still I had been comforted by the power of the sun.
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There you have it. Please feel free to leave comments regarding the piece. What aspect of nature makes you relate to this post, the writing style, whatever.

Remember, you can still send in your drafts to eezykrys@yahoo.com.

Peace, love & ribena *kilzes*

That Night

Teary-eyed, barefoot, and in my pajamas, I ran as fast as my legs would carry me. Out the door, across the yard, and down the street, the wind whipping my hair into my line of vision. The street lights were blurry through my half-closed eyes, and I could barely see where I was going. Didn't matter. I had no idea where I was going anyway. My small feet carried me down the empty street, past all the houses, far away. Which was where I needed to be.

Wasn't long before I was out of breath though. I began to slow, and my sprint gradually faded into a slow stroll until I came to a complete halt. I sat on the pavement, and struggled to catch my breath. My feet hurt, and I rubbed them one after the other. I could hear cars rushing past, and I knew I wasn't far from the estate gate. I resolved to keep going after I'd rested and tended to my aching feet and limbs.

I was tired. Emotionally though, not just physically. Echoes of the war raging at my house vibrated repeatedly in my mind. I shook my head, but it didn't help. They were stuck there, plastered to the walls and latched on to memories past. But that's the thing with memories. Sometimes, they grow fainter and hazy with time. Other times, they build over the years, getting ever stronger, building on recurrences of events. My case was the latter. I resigned and buried in my tiny palms.

I couldn't really remember a time when my home was ever peaceful. I was oblivious to all the anger and venom that encircled my parents whenever they were in the same vicinity when I was younger, but as I grew it became more and apparent that something was amiss. They tried to hide it initially, arguing only in raised whispers, and stopping whenever I came into the room. You can only pretend for so long though. As time passed, I could feel the chill that filled the air whenever they were in the same room. Tension so thick you'd need a chainsaw to slice through, silence often broken only by my voice. Yes, there was no hiding it anymore. My parent had fallen madly and desperately out of love with each other.

I can't say if there was ever any love there though. If there was, it was probably long before I was born, or maybe when I was still a toddler, because I certainly couldn't remember. There was none of the affection my classmates often spoke of. No smiles, no hugs, no loving looks were ever exchanged, and they slept in separate rooms.

My dad had a company to run, and was gone most of the time. My mum was happiest when he was gone. We'd cook,
Play board games, read, and watch tv together either curled up on the couch, or sprawled on the floor. My dad would take me out sometimes, and we'd get ice cream, or go shopping for new dresses, toys and goodies. I had fun with both my parents individually, so I knew each was a loving, caring person as a single unit . Together, however, it was a disaster. One that had turned our home into a war front.

I'd stumbled upon many arguments over the years, and I'd run back up to my room and sob quietly. On the occasions where they saw me, one of them would come up after me and comfort me, making promises of better times. Promises I'd learnt were empty. The next day, I'd get something new. Somehow, I got accustomed to this environment. I never knew what the fights were about, and I was silenced or ignored when I tried to ask, so I just learnt to kind of ignore it as much as I could. They never went beyond yelling and rants. Sometimes, someone would storm out of the house and return hours later.

But that night....it was different. I was getting ready for bed, and was coming out of the bathroom when I'd heard a crash. Heart pounding, I'd rushed downstairs, and straight to the kitchen, where I'd determined the noise had to have come from. Nothing in a million years could have prepared me for what I saw when I swung open the kitchen door. My mum was backed up against a wall, and my dad had one hand round her neck. The other froze mid-air as they both stared wide-eyed at me. I was frozen too. My mind seemed to stop functioning. I'd never seen my dad even touch my mum, so the sight before me was beyond horrid. I turned and ran.

As I sat on the pavement, the image of my dad about to hit my mum frozen in my mind, tears rolled down my cheeks. The night air had gotten chilly, and I shivered. It had gotten darker as well. The few houses that still had lights on had turned pitch black. The beginnings of fear were brewing in the pit of my stomach. My options were to either continue sown the dark scary road, or return to the horror at home. Sobs took over, and I began to shake more even more.

I jumped as I heard my name, and looked up to see my parents. My mum was running towards me, and my dad was behind her, holding a torch. I sat still, not knowing to react when my mum engulfed me in a hug. She was shaking as much as I was. My dad just stood, silently watching. After about 2 minutes of squeezing me, my mum stood up and my dad picked me up. As, we headed back towards the house., no one said anything. I was too tired to speak. My eyelids were heavy, and I needed to sleep. I yawned, and, just before I shut my eyes, I saw them hold hands.

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Hey :)

So, I might be gone for a while. Have a few ideas I'm working on. Also, for those that have been threatening me, Daddy's Girl will continue as soon as I'm back. I'm trying to perfect the story, so I give you what you deserve (the best)

Still need writers to feature on my blog while I work on more constructive and enjoyable material (and titles). I'd really hate for all this creative space to go to waste with so much talent out there. So, if you're interested, please send a draft of a story to eezykrys@yahoo.com :)

Also, my birthday is in 14 days \=D/ Please kindly look at the image below. Wouldn't be lovely if I got my dream phone as my present? *hint hint* *wink wink* :D

Plenty kilzes .....xx

The Three

This place got a little bit too gloomy for a bit. I've decided to put up something nice :)

Okay. So, I wrote this about two years ago. It's a three-part poem. It's not awesome. It's just something I wrote spur-of-the-moment (do I hyphenate too much?).. I was kinda mixed up at the time. Some of you have already read it. Anyhu, I just thought I should put it up here, so enjoy. Or not. You know, whatever.

I
Tall and handsome, but definitely not dark
Sweet and kind for as long as i can remember
Deathly sexy, and a sense of humor to boot

Friends for a while, and then not really
Now things seem to be different
But a good different, interesting different really

Pressed up against him, my heart beats faster
His arms around me, i feel safer
I barely hear a thing he says, my mind is SO gone

What to do, i can't really decide
Actually, what i want i'm quite uncertain
Things progress at a snail's pace

I want him, this i know
But i'm starting to feel he's unattainable
And so, i begin my gradual fade into the background

II
The first meeting, i have to confess, was quite unexpected
To my surprise, conversation wasn't at all difficult
To be honest, i knew from that moment what was going on

Though short, it was absolutely memorable
I carried that memory with me throughout our time apart
And talking to him would always bring joy to my heart

Anxious, excited, elated, eager, keen, and somewhat uneasy
I had something to look forward to in this friggin' hell hole
I knew i had a friend, scratch that, much more than a friend

Time progresses, we move along, but things aren't the same
I try and try, and he does too, but it's out of control
And then, for a bit, it's okay again. Funny how things seem to work out

All those feelings, i should have followed my instinct, kept them hidden
Alas, it hurts worse than a stab to the heart, but i paste on a smile anyway
Our friendship's WAY too important to me to let go, it'll be okay

I should never have seen it, should have just walked away
Wouldn't have been any the wiser, there'd be no reason to feel this pain
Empty, alone, lonely, hollow, sad, hurt, without him, i feel

But deep down inside, i know i know, just too scared to admit it
Friends quite like no other, from the start, until the end
Still not letting go.........we'll be okay

III
OMG! I can't believe this is happening, actually, i can, but then again, i can't
I'm really not making a lot of sense, i know, not even to myself
Maybe you can begin to understand the way he makes me feel

It's been a while, but not that long, long enough anyway
Don't know much about him, haven't had the chance
See him almost everyday, never said a word

I wanted him so bad, for so long, and so did someone else
Interestingly, i really don't see her around anymore, but that's besides the point
I seem to always want things far out of my reach

Didn't really expect it to ever happen, but hey! what can i say
Sadly he thinks i'm totally buzzed, I'm not, but i'd rather he didn't know
Come to think of it, I'd rather no one know

We haven't really spoken since, not at all in fact, but it's no big
You see, I've come to learn to cherish memories and hold on to wishes
So wishes i wish, and dreams i dream, who knows what'll happen

I lay down to rest, but can't really do that, my mind's not ready quite yet
Away i sail on a cloud of what ifs, farther and farther, not sure where to
Patiently i'll wait, things always play out anyway.

The one who has my heart....at least for now anyway

Little Battles

Spinning in the rain, wanting to care
Dancing in the rain, but full of despair
Tossing smiles and hugs and LOLs
Even when drowning in a well
The beautiful clear sky above my head
Only reminds me of the storm I dread
When I get cold, I sit by a fire
And secretly, I mentally burn every desire
Watching this play out like a scene
Knowing this life can really be mean
With your words, you offer solace
Sadly it's worsening at an accelerated pace
The memories, they stay as still images
I alone carry on against the war that rages
All there is to do is stay and fight
But honestly, I'd rather see the light

Princess

The dim, low-hanging fluorescent tube flickered above her, making Princess wonder how much longer it would stay on as she lay on the metal table. She could feel the coolness of the metal through her dress, and it made her uneasy. It didn't help that she was in a room that smelled damp and had some sort of fungus or mold growing in the cracks between the ceramic tiles on the walls. The environment unsettled her but it was all she could afford, and it was too late to back out now. She took a deep breath and tried to relax on the table.

He re-entered the room and approached her, pushing a trolley carrying some instruments in front of him. She noticed he had put on some gloves, and was grateful for that much. He stood at the foot of the table, and instructed her to plant her feet on the table and spread her legs to which she complied. She'd already taken off her underwear earlier, so she was fully exposed. The light above them flickered again, and she glanced up. He, however, seemed unconcerned as he proceeded to rummage through the tools on the table. She kept staring at the dim light, willing it to be a suitable distraction.

The feeling of cold steel penetrating her made her shudder. She realized it was a lever of some sort as she heard creaking sounds usually associated with winding handles, and felt her walls spreading further apart. Okay, this isn't SO bad. She thought to herself as she remembered being told how excruciatingly painful the process would be. But before she could get comfortable, she felt something else being shoved into her.

She had no time to figure out what this gadget was, as sharp pain shot through her body. She bit her lip to hold back a scream, and turned her attention back to the fluorescent tube that seemed to be getting dimmer every passing second. She felt warm liquid trickling out of her, and slowly running down her backside, unto the table. She couldn't help but look, and she watched him pull a huge pair of scissors out of her. He picked up a pump next, stuck it in and started draining.

She felt incredibly uncomfortable, but it was nothing compared to the second cut. She screamed, and he stared up at her. "If you're not quiet, I swear I'll leave this half inside you like this so you can go." She hated his tone, she hated him. He continued to cut and drain, and she let her mind drift to more holding distractions than the confused light source.

She thought about how confused she had been when she'd gotten pregnant. Confusion that quickly turned to elation when she decided to keep the baby. Elation that was promptly squashed when her mother found out. Tears trickled down her face as she remembered the weeks that had followed. Rejection, seclusion, emotional abuse. Home had become even less of a home than it was to begin with. Now, here she was, 33 weeks pregnant, and having an abortion in a less than sub-par facility. Reminiscing about the emotional pain she'd suffered drowned out a lot the physical pain she was feeling now.

She'd convinced herself this was necessary. She needed to end this, get her life back. It was what her mother wanted. Her life wasn't perfect before now, but at least she was happy enough. She finally saw what her mum saw. This child would end every chance she had at a bright future. Everything she wanted would have to be put on hold in order to raise the baby. Sand honestly, Princess wasn't so sure she was ready for the responsibility. She'd get rid of the baby, and her mother would like her again. She wouldn't be a disgrace anymore, rejected and forbidden to allow herself be seen by or socialize with people.

These thoughts occupied her mind as the procedure went on. Only occasionally would the pain be so severe, it would make her flinch and bite down on her lower lip. Her mind was lost, and was only brought back when she started to feel drowsy. The blood was rushing out of her now, she could her it rushing into a bucket. Am I supposed to bleed this much? She watched through half-closed lids as he frantically ran around the room, stuffing towels under and into her. She knew it was pointless. She was feeling light-headed, and could barely keep her eyes open. She let them close, seeing as she couldn't see anymore anyway.

I guess nothing really matters anymore.

Her

You break down my happiness
Reduce my hope to a flickering flame
And then stomp it out

You make me question my existence
Resent my entire being and doubt my purpose
So much so, that I'd rather not be

You pass judgment on me so easily
Shoot me down without a blink
Always, always, you leave my spirit weak

Your words, they hurt. And the silence is piercing
The curses you reign, you make sure they sting
To you, I am nothing. Maybe I am

You take away everything, deprive me of all.
Keep me locked away from the world I once explored
My pleas mean nothing. My tears, even less

There were times I almost gave in. Almost let you win.
But I know I know better. I know we'll be fine.
I may not be all you want, but I'll be enough for her

Me & Irene

I love to watch her when she strips out of her clothes. Each movement is so sensual, I think she does it deliberately. Every time I see her fingers graze a part of her dark skin, I wish those fingers were mine. Or, better yet, my lips. I watch her unhook her bra and slide it off, revealing her perky A cups. The sight of her nipples always makes me happy. They always seem so happy to see me, pointy and erect on her breasts that beckon to me. Thinking about those nips between my teeth excites me to no end, and she knows.

My gaze fixed on her, she turns around and bends over to take off her panties, giving me a perfect view of her rounded backside. I sigh, as my longing becomes an ache. She smiles and walks over to the foot of the bed, in her naked awesomeness. She loves to make me react, to make my entire being ache for her. And ache, I do. Everyday as I watch her go about her routines, and every night as we cuddle. I return her smile "Come to bed, love."

She gets on the bed and begins to crawl towards me, but she doesn't take her usual spot next to me. Irene crawls up to me and eases my legs apart. My heart's pounding, my brain still trying to figure out whether or not this is really happening. And then I feel her soft hands wrap around my throbbing hardness. The pleasure the warmth brings is indescribable. I stare into her warm brown eyes as her hand begins to slid up and down. I'm afraid to ask the question out loud because she might change her mind, but she understands. I see it in her eyes before she smiles and lowers her head to cover the tip of my shaft with her lips. Those soft lips that drive me insane.

Her head sinks lower, and she sucks just a bit harder at every level of her decent until I'm all the way into her mouth, and I feel her lips on the skin at the base of my cock. I shudder as I hit the wall at the back of her throat, and begin to slide in and out slowly. Her moans cause vibrations that excite me even more, and my fingers find their way to my nipples. Tweaking them adds to the heat still building up in me, and my thrusts become faster, and plunge deeper into her throat.

I feel her hand on my balls, gently squeezing as she tightens her lips on my throbbing hardness, and I know she's trying to get me to cum. But I've waited too long, and I intend to enjoy this for as long as I could make it last. I pull out of her mouth, lean in closer, and envelop her in a passionate kiss. Her hands find my breasts and begin to massage and rub my nipples, just as my finger strokes her clit slowly. I slip two fingers into her, and feel her inhale sharply. My fingers slide in and out, and it isn't long before she starts to writhe in pleasure and grind on them.

I take a nipple in my mouth, and nibble gently. Her soft cries echo in the back of my mind, and I can't restrain myself much longer. Pulling her closer, I wrap her legs around my waist and push my cock into her dripping nani. It's tight and warm, and the resulting pleasure overwhelms my senses. I keep her nipple in my mouth and grab her ass, squeezing and guiding her as she rides me.

She wraps her hand around my neck as she grinds slowly on my dick. Our moans fill the room as I thrust into her, getting coated by her warm fluids that flowed steadily. Her walls start to tremble around me, and I know she's at the edge. My thrusts get deeper and more urgent, her hands tighten around my neck and her nails dig into my skin. I hold her against me and reduce to a slow, steady pace as she tumbles. The vibrations, heat and wetness around my cock cause my balls to tighten. A few more strokes and I pull out of her as I begin to cum, spurting between us, covering both our skins in my thick cum.

Spent, I lie back, and hold her against me, stroking her hair as she lay on my chest and played with my nipples.

I jumped as I heard the restroom door open. "Linda!?" It was Irene.
"I'm in here." I managed to respond as I steadied my heart beat. "What is it?"
"Hian! Is your lunch break not over? Sometimes I don't understand you."
I took some toilet paper and started cleaning up my mess "Me sef, I don't understand you. Are you paying my salary?" I cleaned up, threw the wads of toilet paper in the bowl and flushed. I stuffed my now flaccid cock back into my underwear, pulled up my shorts, and rolled down my skirt before stepping out of the stall and walking over to a sink to wash my hands.
Irene stood at the door, arms crossed and tapping her feet. "Are you finally done?"
I smiled at my gorgeous bestie. "Ehn. Oya, let's go back to the office."

Movies I Love

So, I will not be discussing one movie I like. That would be rather drab, wouldn't it. What I'm going to attempt to do is give you an idea of what kind of movies I'm into. Yes, yes. I know you love me. Hold the flowers :)

So, we'll skip past how much I love porn. However, you should know I love porn. A lot. A LOT. But not those senseless 15-minute types. The full length ones with sensible story lines. Cool stuff.

Also, I'm very into horror movies. I love 'em all! I love to watch 'em in the dark, alone. Really good horror ones, that show the actual killings. I love to see blood spill. Sadly, I'm one of those people that talk to the screen like the actors can hear me :| Thrillers are good too. I love being on the edge :D

H'okay!!! Three movies I like.

Ella Enchanted: I love this movie SO much. It's probably the only disney fairy tale adaptation I really like. Maybe it's because I adore Anne Hathaway. And I the soundtrack is cool too. My favorite song is Somebody To Love. I play it over and over again. Once, I got up on a table in the school cafeteria and started singing and dancing. Don't remember if I was high. Hope I was sha :|

Fast Five: Yeah, I know it's a recent movie. But, camaan!! That movie is AWESOME!! Dwayne Johnson, Vin Disel, and Paul Walker in one movie?! Ahh! And there was actual action! Not pussy ass scene cuts and all that crap. That fight scene with Vin and Dwayne? Bliss! And I think I came during that scene on the bridge. *sigh*

Tarzan: This is my all-time fave movie. It's just simply beautiful. And I love Phil Collins for the soundtrack. I never get tired of watching it. I can watch it 5 times a day. Back-to-back.

*sigh* I'm bored and really horny. This is a crappy post. Hopefully, this challenge will be over soon, and I can go back to regular writing.

When is the fasting thingy over? I think I can resume after that.

Something I Miss

Wow! Four days! That's something. I know some of you have been whispering in dark cyber corners about me giving up on the challenge. This is not true. There was no light in my estate :(

Moving on, I've decided to talk about something I miss this morning. I wasn't gonna do this topic now, but I had a conversation of sorts with someone last night, and it kinda came up.

What do I miss? A lot of things. I miss the original choco milo and gala. I miss that milk thingy that you squeeze out of a tube and suck. I miss running around naked in the rain, and cooking in empty milo tins behind the house. Eating chalk, and licking toothpaste for the heck of it too.

Basically, I miss being a kid.

When I was a kid, things were a whole lot easier. I wasn't bothered about what I was gonna eat, or how I was gonna get money to do one thing or the other, or anything like that. There was nothing like love, or heartbreak. No sense of betrayal. Just bliss.

I think I've already mentioned in previous posts that I was aa dork of a kid. I existed in books. If I wanted to go somewhere new, or explore something different, I had my books. I'd sit behind in class while everyone else went out for break and read or do my assignments.

You see, kids are different. My classmates didn't like me because I was different, and they didn't bother hiding it. No one ever asked me to play, or help them with anything. Everyone pretty much just steered clear of me. And I was fine with it. Didn't pretend to like anyone either. I had my books. My wonderfully amazing books.

Now, everyone just seems eager to pleaase everyone else. I guess I just miss that honesty. I'd rather people didn't pretend to like me just because they're trying to get something from me. It sucks. Especially when you know. And I almost always do.

Some people say I play a lot now, because I didn't get to when I was little. This is true. I missed out on a lot when I was younger. Sometimes I try to make up for that. It helps to have awesome friends who get me. They aren't very many, but they mean the world to me. Maybe one day, I'll do a posrt dedicated to them :) meanwhile, just know I love you guys *kisses*

Undoubtedly, growing has been an experience. I've felt real pain, experienced betrayal over and again, learnt the meaning of rejection, been heartbroken, and basically just seen a portion of what life is. I know I haven't seen it all, and I know there have been great memories along the way, and there probably a lot more amazing times ahead.

I miss being a kid, and being a lot less unaware. I miss smiling for no reason, and, just being happy.

But we have to grow. Everyone. And either you do it at your own pace, or life pushes you into you. One way or another.

Childhood is the world of miracle or of magic: it is as if creation rose luminously out of the night, all new and fresh and astonishing. Childhood is over the moment things are no longer astonishing. When the world gives you a feeling of “déjà vu,” when you are used to existence, you become an adult.
– EUGENE IONESCO

Pet Peeves

What are my pet peeves? Honestly, I get upset by so many things I don't even know which are the top-ranking ones. I'm just gonna list them as they come to my head.

• I hate it when someone leaves my room door open. If my door was shut when you walked into or out of my room, why the hell would you leave it open!? Do you just nail a wrapper to a door frame at your house? Because then i'd understand.

• I also don't like it when people shut my room door if I left it open. *shrug* Go figure.

• It irritates me when I have to repeat stuff over and again. This is the main reason why I always seem upset with my sister.

• I do not like when people touch my stuff and/or move it from it's position. There is a reason why it's called MY stuff.

• I don't like seeing piled up dishes. It irritates my core. It's worse when it's not my turn to do the dishes, because then I have to remind the person to do it.

• People who chew with their mouths open. This is a disgusting habit. It needs no explanation.

• People who can't take jokes. You see, I'm not funny. I try really hard, but I fail miserably. So on the rare occasion that I actually tell a funny one, I expect you to laugh. So what if it was at your expense?! Boohoo! Grow a pair!!
The same applies for pranks.

• Girls who wear heels they can't walk in, or short dresses they obviously aren't comfortable in. It really isn't by force.

• Slow people at ATMs. Especially the ones that don't have any money in the account. You wait behind them forever, and they walk away empty-handed. -_-


• Hypocrisy in every size, shape and form. It's very uncool.


Okay. That's 10. I'm sure that should be enough. Don't want to start rambling on and wasting your precious time.

Hope y'all had a swell day. Sleep well, and I'll be back tomorrow.

Famous 5

Five famous people I'm attracted to, huhn? Well, should be easy enough.
Please note that this post is not about objectifying men. It is about objectifying a woman too. :)

Let's begin...



Look at him... *sigh* Those arms.. That chest.. Ryan Reynolds is just... Can you see where his jeans are sagging a bit? I wonder where those lines lead.... *giggle*.
Lest I forget, I also love him 'cause he's as sarcastic and hilarious off-set as he is during a shoot, with a wicked smile to booth. Major turn on.... *looks at picture again* *sigh*




Jessica Alba, as far as I'm concerned, is just a tease. Look at her. Just look at what she's doing! *sigh* those lips... And her body is super amazing. The things I could do.... *daydreaming*




Idris Elba, IMO, is not that hot. Passable at the most. It's his accent that gets me. When he's talking, my mind just zones in on that voice and blocks everything else out. Hotness. I kinda like his smile too.




Look into those eyes. *swoon* I just want to swim in them. I wouldn't even mind drowning. I love how he does all those action flicks, and still manages to be funny. Plus, he's HOT. I'd like to spread hollandia yogurt all over him and lick it all off :D Paul Walker can most definitely get it. And he MUST!!!!




This is my husband. I'm crazy about him. I even stalked him for a bit. Yeah, pathetic. I know. Watevs. Sadly, my mother says I can't marry a yoruba person. :( He's uber talented and so friendly. I think that's what I admire the most about him. Sha, God is in control. One of these days.

So, that's my famous 5. Of course, there are some others. But these top my list everyday.

Good night one and all. See y'all tomorrow. :D

30 Facts About Me

Welcome back to my challenge :D !!!!!!!!
Hope you got a kick out of yesterday's piece. No? Hm. Well, hopefully you enjoy today's entry more.

I decided to write this piece now, rather than at night, because my gut tells me it might be a tad bit long. So, I was hoping you could stretch it out through the day. Those who take a cab/bus/bike to work can read it en route, and you can read it at your office while pretending to do work we both know you're not doing ;)

That being said, I am now going to tell you 30 facts about me. I left out "interesting" because I'm not sure I can guarantee that.

**30 FACTS ABOUT ME**

• My full name is Cynthia Faith Coco Ifeanyi Ayase Anetor-Sokei. I don't like my name. I strongly dislike all the people I know with the name 'Cynthia', 'Faith' is a housegirl's name, people are constantly teasing me because they refuse to believe 'Ifeanyi' is a unisex name, and I have no idea what 'Ayase' means. I used to like 'Coco' a lot, until people started telling me "oh! I know someone named Coco." On the outside I smile, but inside I'm thinking "Die mhen!!"

•Despite the fact that I hate my name(s), I really like my last name. Anetor-Sokei. I think it sounds kinda nice when I say it to myself. Plus, my brother and I are the only two people in the world with the name. :D Go ahead. Google 'Anetor-Sokei'. See what comes up :)

•I have had Dysthymia for as long as I remember. Been popping pills since I was a kid.. I used to call them "happy pills" because even though I didn't know exactly what they were for, I knew I felt better when I had them. When I go a long period without my pills, life isn't pretty. Kinda like recently.

•I love mangoes! Always have. When I was about 6, there was a mango tree in the next compound. Whenever we went over to pluck ripe ones, the owner would yell at us because he was a greedy cow leg. The tree was pretty close to the fence near our block, so I watched my cousins jump on the fence and pluck. I decided to try this on my own one faithful day when my craving was exceptionally high. So, I got on the railing of the staircase, and lunged for the fence. I missed. I hit the fence with my chest instead, was bounced back to the water tank, and then I hit the concrete floor :( I've had problems with my chest/heart ever since. (Personally, I don't think my doctors know what it is. They tell me something different every two years).

•My mum is from Delta (Asaba), and my Dad is Edo. I get really confused about which side to claim, since they aren't together anymore. Someone once suggested 'Edolta'. I speak, write and understand igbo, but I don't even know what "good morning is in isaan (my dad's language).

• I like food a lot. I do. But I don't actually eat much. I always take very little portions, and I have this really nasty habit of picking at my food. I guess I'm in love with the idea of eating, and not the actual act.

• I'm very picky when it comes to food. Even when I'm starving, I won't eat something if I don't like it. What's the point of eating something you won't enjoy. Also, it's kinda hard for me to try new stuff out at restaurants. And it sucks. It's a habit I'm trying to break.

• Sugar addict. At a point, a doctor told my mum I have a minor case of hypoglycaemia. Appaz, my dad is diabetic, and I inherited it. More drugs for me! Yaaay!! :| I still take loads of sugar though *shrug* can't help it. I've fainted about three times before when I went a couple of hours without sugar.

• My genotype is AS. It sucks. I hardly ever get sick, but when I do, it feels like my world is about to end. Even when it's something as simple as a cold. Also, my throat always gets sore when I'm about to fall ill.

• I don't really like kids. They annoy me most of the time. Even the cute ones. I could be playing with a kid one second and then smack them the next. I'm trying to learn to deal with it because I'll be a mum soon :)

• Some people think I have ADHD. This is not true. No doctor has diagnosed me with such a condition. So what if I actually have to see a doctor before I can be diagnosed. If you think I get distracted easily, get more interesting. Pfft.

• I'm scared of thunder. It's one of the reasons why I don't like the rain. It's really embarrassing, because once I actually hid under my desk in class in secondary school. *smh* I used to be scared of the dark as well, but not anymore. Not really.

• When I was younger, I wanted to be a stripper. Sadly, my dancing skills sucketh. :(

• I suck at arguments. Like, verbal fights. When it comes to insults, I draw a blank. You could rain a truckload of insults on me, and my retort would be something like "Yeah? Well, you too." :| But if it gets physical, I know I can kick ass sha. Even if I don't win, I'll definitely leave some sort of scar. I don't fight fair.

• I despise being called stupid. I do some stuff that I guess may come across that way, but I really don't need to hear it from anyone else. Any other insult is fine. I really don't care

• I have some anger issues. I get pissed over the littlest things and just explode. Sometimes, I store it all up and blow up on an unfortunate soul. But I'm better now. At least, I don't let it push me to physical contact anymore. Those were dark times *shudder*

• I'm very sensitive to words and perceived emotions or reactions. I get upset if I feel someone I care about is upset with me, or doesn't really want to talk to me. Admittedly, some of these perceptions exist only in my head. But my mind is really good at playing things up. If someone replies "hi..." to my "hey :)" I immediately start wondering what could be wrong.

• Yes, I'm a bit paranoid. I sometimes feel I'm being watched :| And sometimes, I think I hear voices.

• I love attention. I love when people like me. Not like my happiness depends on it....much, but I really just want to be liked by everyone. It's sad, but I'm one of those people. I hate being ignored. It makes me want to cry :(

• I have a lot of dreams. There's a lot of stuff I'd like to do. Stuff I feel I need to do. Lately, it's felt like they're all falling apart. But God knows best. Still hanging on :)

• I love to write. Writing is a part of who I am. It just feels good to be able to put all my thoughts down on paper (figuratively or otherwise). It's such a release. It feels good when people read my stuff and say it's really good (thanks guys) but sometimes, I need criticism. I feel like I don't get enough of it. And I need it to get better.

• I'm very shy. Extremely so. I'm very awkward at social gatherings unless I have alchy on me. It's difficult for me to make new friends. I'd love to walk up to people and introduce myself, but I just never seem to be able to work up the nerve. It's also difficult for me to maintain eye contact with anyone. Not just cause of the albinism, but looking into someone's eyes is a deep thing for me. It's hard to expose myself to people like that.

• I'm born again. Prayer is really important to me. I really do believe it changes things. Sadly, I don't pray as much as I need to anymore :(

• I do not like phone calls. They make me uncomfortable. There are very few people I spend more than 2 minutes on the phone with. These are very special people. I don't call people unless I have a message to pass on, or a question to ask. It's not that I don't like to keep in touch, but that's why we have SMS :D

• This is probably coming late because I'm running out of stuff to say. I'm my mother's 2nd child. I have an elder brother and a little sister. Don't know what number I am to my dad. I doubt my stepdad even knows what number I am.

• I quit smoking (everything). Haven't taken alchy in a while, but hopefully I'll resume soon :)

• I don't get addicted to stuff that people are always yapping about. I've tried out a lot of stuff that I'm not sure I should discuss here, but I never got addicted. Always stopped whenever I felt like.

• I have a healthy sexual appetite (bite me) and I'm into a lot of stuff. Don't have a favorite position, don't have any specific preferences. All that just makes the whole thing boring :| Believe it or not, once you pick a favorite, it kinda closes your mind to anything else.

• Yeah, went through a bit of molestation from uncles and such when I was little. I lost my virginity at 15. Was raped by a neighbor. Aborted the resulting pregnancy. I've moved on.

• There isn't a lot I regret. Actually can't think of any right now. I try to do stuff I won't regret later, even though I can be really indecisive. I learn from my mistakes though. Because the real mistake would be not taking anything from the lesson.

So, we made it yeah? Sorry if this was drab and long. It's part of the challenge. Bear with me :)

I actually put off doing this piece, because I wasn't sure I want to put most of this stuff out there. But I think I'm comfortable enough with it now.

Oh. Before I forget. You may have noticed I no longer tag people to the link on twiter. If you'd like to follow the challenge, please subscribe to the blog. Thanks.

Enjoy the rest of your day. :)

Challenge Break

Okay. So, I think I've mentioned a couple of times that I get bored pretty quickly. Realized today, that I wasn't really fancying any of the topics on the three lists for the challenge I have. Figured I should take a break.

Was looking through my facebook notes today. They made me laugh a lot. Remembering stuff that happened back then and all. *sigh* Happy times.

Anyhu, going through a particular note kinda gave me an I idea. I decided to put this up so you can have an idea of what I was like as of December 13, 2009. It'll give you a heads up on the next couple of challenge posts.

So, enjoy (if you can) and I'll see you tomorrow.
NB: It's one of those question and answer thingies. I copied and pasted exactly as it was. Didn't change anything. :)


Have you ever made out in a bathroom?
---> Who hasn't?

Do you think the last person you kissed is nice?
---> Yeah

Who was the last person to call you?
---> Answered = Chinwe; Not Answered = My aunty

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
---> Malta Guiness :) hmmmm

When is the last time you cried?
----> Dnt remember, bt nt long ago sha

Are you scared of spiders?
---> Nopez

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
---> Not really sure

What are your plans for this weekend?
---> PARTY HARD!!!!

Ever been swimming in a lake or river?
---> Lake

Last person you drove with in a car?
---> I think it was Sarah nd Dee

What did you last buy?
---> Tees

What’s irritating you right now?
---> The fact that i'm hungry :(

What radio station(s) do you listen to?
---> Anything playing jamz, but mostly Cool FM

Are you afraid of the dark?
---> Yupz. Especially when it's rainin

Are you listening to music right now?
---> Nah

Do you like Chinese food?
---> Hell Yeah

What is the last movie you saw in theaters?
---> NEW MOON!!! WHOOHOO!!

Is there anyone you wish was still in your life?
Yeah David...R.I.P Boo

Do you get distracted easily?
---> ooooo...gum..sorry?

First time you kissed the last person you kissed?
---> the day i met him :)

Was this the best year of your life?
---> hmmmm...hv to think abt that

Who are your best friends?
---> they know

What was going through your mind during your last kiss?
---> happy things

Is it easier to forgive or forget?
---> forgive

Are you jealous of someone?
---> what could i possibly be jealous of?

What last made you laugh the hardest?
---> too many things at once...difficult to remember

Do you flirt a lot?
--> i wouldn't call what i do flirting

Would you live with someone without marrying them?
---> yeah

Have you ever had a dream about people you love dying?
---> yeah :(

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
---> dnt remember....

Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
---> hehehe..yeah

Who was the last person that made you feel safe, why?
---> I'm not goin to say his name, but being with him just made things seem not so bad. would never say it to his face tho. been thinking about him a lot l8ly.

Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?
---> YES!!!!

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
---> Next question pls :)

Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
---> I could be when i want to

What did you do yesterday?
---> Exam, simpsons, food, sleep

Have you ever dated Someone Older Than You?
---> Always do

What time did you go to bed at and when did you awake?
---> slept by 1, woke by 7

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
---> not EVERYONE

Believe in love at first sight?
---> Nah

Challenge Break

Okay. So, I think I've mentioned a couple of times that I get bored pretty quickly. Realized today, that I wasn't really fancying any of the topics on the three lists for the challenge I have. Figured I should take a break.

Was looking through my facebook notes today. They made me laugh a lot. Remembering stuff that happened back then and all. *sigh* Happy times.

Anyhu, going through a particular note kinda gave me an I idea. I decided to put this up so you can have an idea of what I was like as of December 13, 2009. It'll give you a heads up on the next couple of challenge posts.

So, enjoy (if you can) and I'll see you tomorrow.
NB: It's one of those question and answer thingies. I copied and pasted exactly as it was. Didn't change anything. :)


Have you ever made out in a bathroom?
---> Who hasn't?

Do you think the last person you kissed is nice?
---> Yeah

Who was the last person to call you?
---> Answered = Chinwe; Not Answered = My aunty

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
---> Malta Guiness :) hmmmm

When is the last time you cried?
----> Dnt remember, bt nt long ago sha

Are you scared of spiders?
---> Nopez

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
---> Not really sure

What are your plans for this weekend?
---> PARTY HARD!!!!

Ever been swimming in a lake or river?
---> Lake

Last person you drove with in a car?
---> I think it was Sarah nd Dee

What did you last buy?
---> Tees

What’s irritating you right now?
---> The fact that i'm hungry :(

What radio station(s) do you listen to?
---> Anything playing jamz, but mostly Cool FM

Are you afraid of the dark?
---> Yupz. Especially when it's rainin

Are you listening to music right now?
---> Nah

Do you like Chinese food?
---> Hell Yeah

What is the last movie you saw in theaters?
---> NEW MOON!!! WHOOHOO!!

Is there anyone you wish was still in your life?
Yeah David...R.I.P Boo

Do you get distracted easily?
---> ooooo...gum..sorry?

First time you kissed the last person you kissed?
---> the day i met him :)

Was this the best year of your life?
---> hmmmm...hv to think abt that

Who are your best friends?
---> they know

What was going through your mind during your last kiss?
---> happy things

Is it easier to forgive or forget?
---> forgive

Are you jealous of someone?
---> what could i possibly be jealous of?

What last made you laugh the hardest?
---> too many things at once...difficult to remember

Do you flirt a lot?
--> i wouldn't call what i do flirting

Would you live with someone without marrying them?
---> yeah

Have you ever had a dream about people you love dying?
---> yeah :(

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
---> dnt remember....

Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
---> hehehe..yeah

Who was the last person that made you feel safe, why?
---> I'm not goin to say his name, but being with him just made things seem not so bad. would never say it to his face tho. been thinking about him a lot l8ly.

Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?
---> YES!!!!

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
---> Next question pls :)

Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
---> I could be when i want to

What did you do yesterday?
---> Exam, simpsons, food, sleep

Have you ever dated Someone Older Than You?
---> Always do

What time did you go to bed at and when did you awake?
---> slept by 1, woke by 7

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
---> not EVERYONE

Believe in love at first sight?
---> Nah

Me & My Ribena

So, today, I'm showing y'all a pic of something that makes me happy. :D

My love for Ribena knows no boundaries. I've loved it ever since I was a little kid. I remember my mum used to buy the one in the glass bottle that you had to dilute with water. Sometimes, when she wasn't home, I would go into the closet where she kept it and steal sip a bit from the bottle. She found out, of course, and then I couldn't use my ass properly for about two days. :| But my love only strengthened.

Some people think it's ridiculous that I still love Ribena at my age. As far as I'm concerned, I didn't see an age restriction on any of the packs. And I wouldn't care if there was. Ribena gives me SO much Joy!!!!

When I'm depressed and don't have anyone to talk to, Ribena is there.
When I'm alone and lonely on my bed, Ribena is there.
Ribena never tells me I'm fat or makes me feel stupid.
Ribena never makes empty promises, or gives me false hope.
With Ribena, my happiness is guaranteed.

Ribena will be a major part of my life for the foreseeable (is that how it's spelt?) future. Honestly can't think of anything that can change that. I have at least one bottle everyday.

Well, it's a wrap. LMAO (private joke)
Thanks for stopping by. :)

Everyday I'm Shuffling

Sorry this is coming in late. MTN was being MTN.

So, today I'm supposed to put my music player on shuffle and talk about the first 10 songs that play. Lemme apologize ahead of time. I give very lousy reviews, so be prepared for the bare minimum.

1.) Cheers (Drink To That) - Rihanna
I love this song cuz it's about drinking ^_^. It's such a feel-good song! And I kinda like Rihanna. It reminds me of fun nights spent drinking away stress with friends, drinking games and all that. Of course, only few people know what happens when I have alchy in my system. ;) Gosh. I miss alchy :(

2.) Pop Champagne - Dr. Sid ft Dbanj
LMAO! This song is just daft!!!! I loveeeeet!!!!!! Chai!! AUN nights! So much memories. *sigh*.

3.) All I Do Is Win - Beazy
Well, I love beazy. His punchlines to me are almost always on point. I respect what he does. For me, doing the BMM is hella cool. Serious level of commitment. Which I think is sexy. No, it has nothing to do with his voice :|

4.) Raining Men - Nicki Minaj ft Rihanna
My fantasy oh! How I wish sha. I guess this song is trying to teach me that I don't need to stress over a single guy. Too many fish in the sea, mhen. And it's so true. But who really has the energy to go fishing?

5.) I Give You My Heart - Hillsong
Yes, I have gospel songs on my phone. Plenty sef. Worship is an integral part of my prayer. You can never thank God enough for everything He's done in your life. Even when I have no words to pray, I try to just spend time singing worship to Him.

6.) Overkilling Rmx - Djinee (shey?) Ft Choc Boyz
I LOVE THE CHOC BOYZ!!!!!!! Especially Jesse *sigh*. The song sha is ayyt. I just listen to it cuz of MI and Jesse. I have no idea what djinee was doing. What happened to the days of 'Ego'? And Ice Prince :x Plus, there was a time people used this song to feel cool in clubs. *smh* Those days...

7.) Enigma - T' Sleek
One of dem enigma peepu oh!! It's ayyt sha. Efa's own was still the best IMO. Too bad no one really appreciates the art of storytelling anymore. This one is just here singing about getting money. I just want to slap him.

8.) Ahamefuna - Duncan Mighty (I think)
I don't know what this song is doing on my phone :|

9.) All of the Lights - Kanye & Co
*sigh* 'Ye!! My husband!!! I love this song. I love this album! I used to listen to it every morning. I don't think I'll ever get tired of it. I like how all the featured artistes added their own element. I especially like how it worked. I just love this song. For me, Kanye never fails to deliver. Big fan.

10.) Fly Away - Nelly
This song was the soundtrack for The Longest Yard. I've never seen the movie. Someone played this song for me in SS3, and I fell madly in love with it. It's so deep. It makes me think about a lot of stuff. Life issues and such. It inspires me. It's just so good. I don't know what else I can say about it. It's an awesome song.

And, because I'm awesome like that,

Bonus Track - Imagine by Glee Cast
I'm crazy about glee. I have almost all the songs off their soundtracks. I listen to them when I'm in a crappy mood. This song is just beautiful. If you've heard it, then you know what I'm talking about. Makes too much sense. Too bad it's just a song though *sigh*

So, that's it. :) thanks for stopping by. Please, join me again tomorrow as I continue on this journey :D

#np - Don't Rain on My Parade - Glee Cast d(-_-)b

Religion

So, I lay on my bed pondering on what topic to discuss today. So many options (seeing as I'm mixing up topics from three different lists), so little time. Finally, I decided to go all deep and philosophical on you behinds and discuss my views on religion. But, as we all know, deciding to do something and actually doing whatever it is are two completely different things.

Oh, don't get me wrong. I will be discussing my views on religion. I'm just not sure we have the same definitions of 'deep' and 'philosophical'.

So, I went ahead and googled the definition of 'religion', and, from what I gathered from various dictionaries, religion is a belief in and/or an attempt at connection with a supernatural being. I tried reading up on all the different religions and ish, but I didn't want to deceive or bore myself. So, I'm just gonna wing this.

Most people seek some sort of religion or the other, for various reasons -closure, fear, repentance- but most really have no idea what it means. Some are raised in said beliefs, and just run with it for the rest of their lives, no questions asked. Very risky, if you ask me.

I believe questions need to be asked. I don't know a lot about other religions, so I'll focus this on christianity a bit. I used to have a lot of doubt, about what I was being taught as a christian, so I set out on my own. I stopped going to church for a bit. Know what I realized? People are dumb-ass hypocrites!!

You say you believe in something, and then go out and do the opposite of what you claim to believe in. Ask some people the most basic questions about christianity, and they can't give you an answer. Meanwhile, the Bible (which was compiled by men) is supposed to be an instruction manual.

The most ridiculous to me are the radicals. I really hate when someone tries to force their opinion on me. I feel a person should be free to believe in whatever they want to believe in, as long as they have adequate understanding of what that is, and what it requires. I remember an aunt of mine once told @d3ola that if she doesn't leave islam and convert to christianity, she'll go to hell. Said aunt is still not speaking to me.

Religious bullies are just simply annoying. And most of them have no full understanding of the religion. They basically just run with whatever they priests or whatever tell them.

I don't even want to go into talking about those who completely forget who their worshipping and start worshipping the pastor/priest/whatever. I remember once, someone was trying to preach to me and he quoted a bible verse but he said "according to my pastor". I was like "Dude, that's in the Bible.". Believe it or not, he was speechless.

*sigh* I'm getting upset. I'm going to stop now.

I'm a christian. I was born a christian. Christianity is not my religion. It is a lifestyle I have chosen. I don't believe I have to go to church to have communion with God. I study my bible and pray. I believe in the power of prayer, but I also believe in working for the changes you want to see. My relationship with God is personal, and concerns no one else. After all, when the much anticipated rapture comes, each person will give account of his/her own life. Right?

That will be all. Good night, people *kilzes*