Say "Hello" To Goodbye

This is a story that's been playing around in my head for weeks. Initially, I wasn't quite sure how to get it out. And then, this came to me *whooosh*. Please leave your thoughts in the comment box. Thanks much

*****

Even when he'd hugged me, I knew.
It wouldn't be the same again. It couldn't.

It didn't matter how much I wanted it.
How long I'd craved it.
My patience, my care, my emotions.
Irrelevant.
Every bit of hope. Every beautiful fantasy.
Shattered. The fragments ground into dust.
Lost. Like ashes scattered over a cliff.

I stared at my phone, that accursed device.
The message within - "there's someone else"
It hit me again. The pain and the hurt. The anger.
I wished I could hurt it back. Make it suffer.
Damn!! The tears I have to hide.
Like the feelings I'd locked away and hidden from sight.

His back turned to me, I watched him intently. Bent over his work.
Oblivious to my emotional rollercoaster
I shouldn't be here. I knew. He knew.
But I was. I'd come because he'd asked me to.
Because I still lusted.
Yes. I did, even though I knew I shouldn't.

What I desperately wanted to hear, he hadn't said.
No empty promises, no false hope.
Leave or stay.
A decision. He'd left it to me to make.
I'd be his for as long as he wanted. But he wouldn't be mine.
I'd get the scraps. But I'd be happy.
Wouldn't I?

Me. Him. Her.
I couldn't. I wanted to. I almost did. But I couldn't.
He didn't look up as I got dressed. I didn't see him turn as I shut the door gently.
My echoing footsteps in the empty hallway taunt me.
I ignore them. I have to. I must.
I'd never completely leave him.
Couldn't forget it all
PING!!! His "Goodbye" said it all.