Dear Kevin

Hey Kiwi :) (do you still hate that?)

I'm finally doing this. Yeah, it took me three days for it to sink in. You know how I can be with stuff like this. However, in my defense, your mum's method of breaking the news was a tad bit tactless (she sent a text). Yeah, really. Anyhu, I guess that's really insignificant compared to the big picture.

I was thinking about the day you were supposed to teach me to ride a bike. I think about it every time I see a bike (a lot). I still don't know why you pushed me down that hill. I could've died, you know? Or damaged something! I guess you felt bad enough about the cuts since you took me out for ice cream :) I still love ice cream. Still can't ride a bike. But that's my fondest memory. Bit odd, I think.

Wow Kev. I don't know. I'm supposed to write what I would like to say to you. Where do I start? You know how I function. Remember when Chuks died? Compare my reaction to that to that of David's dearh. But it's you. Not Chuks or David, or Aunty Nkem. You. I'm still not clear on why. But everything happens for a reason, no?

I woke up this night crying, because I realized the one I'd lost one of the closest people to me. Who am I going to rant to about stuff no one else cares about? All our planned trips. We were finally gonna go :( Who's gonna send me daily pick ups to keep me happy? I guess I'm crying because I always thought you'd always be there. To cheer me up. To be my inspiration. My motivation. You fixed yours, but you still understood what it felt like because you'd been there.

Am I being selfish? I am, right? I should be wondering how your mum and Steph and Debbie are doing. Not lamenting about you leaving me.

I guess I just want you to know I love you. Always. We all do. You were probably the favorite (we had a poll last year and didn't tell you). I know you don't want me to be this way, but how could I not? After everything? C'mon! Be realistic. I hope you're happy. I know you're glad you got born again. I am too. Because now, I'm certain we'll see again.

I love you, Kevin Uzochukwu Moore. And I miss you. R.I.P