Calling Prince Charming

So, the past two days in bloggersville have been quite interesting, yeah? What with these two post and all. :) -> What Women DON'T Want and. What Men DON'T Want

So, because I LOVE attention (read my twitter bio), I decided to do my own. Can't afford to be left behind.

However, I did not ask anybody what they want or don't want. It really isn't my business. Unless you're interested, then that's different ;)

WHAT I WANT IN MY PRINCE CHARMING

1 APPEARANCE: He has to be fine. Facially, physically, everything. And tall. With just the right amount of muscle. *sigh* And arms. I'm a sucker for arms. What? Ah! Me, one of my goals in life is to produce gorgeous offspring. As in, STUNNINGLY adorable children. Whose faces will glow and radiate beauty (but not like that gay Edward guy sha)..
But I know it's God that gives children. I'm just saying, I'm doing my own part too. I can't get knocked up by L'il Wayne and expect Ryan Reynolds or Jessica Alba to come out.
And err...looking good also involved dressing well. So...

2) COMFORT: My prince charming will be rich. He doesn't have to be wealthy oh! (Even though I won't mind) He has to be comfortable enough with his finances to fly me all over the world spontaneously. Or at least buy me expensive pretty things once in a while. If I wake up one day and decide I need to go shopping for new clothes and such, I don't expect to be given dirty looks or insulted. You're not my father? May amadioha strike your left nyash. Why did you now ask me out? As I was in my father's house was I not looking fine and taken care of?!!! Isn't that what attracted you?!!
Also, his place of residence has to be in a decent area. I cannot be leaving a four-bedroom flat in Area 11 to come and see you at the one-bedroom place in Karimo or Pape that you're sharing with Eloka. Mba nu. I'm not saying have mansion in maitama, but you get my drift.
Of course, I don't need to tell you that your job has to have head. And I believe such a job should at least come with an official car.

3) PERSONALITY/COMPATIBILITY: Here I have chosen to put some things that are very key to our togetherness.
i)SPEECH: I WILL NOT hook up with a guy who does not sound sexy! Tufia! Your voice has to make my heart beat faster, and make me wet myself (in the good way).. I do not like phone conversations. I will only pick a call if I know the person calling has a voice that will hold me. Ehenn. Also, a decent command of the english language.
ii)APPEAL: Other people have to want you. If I'm the only girl drooling over you, I will think there is a problem somewhere.
iii)SOCIAL: Err...how do I put this? I like guys. Especially the fine ones. And I like girls too!! So, I expect you to have friends that are as good-looking or better looking than you. You know, so I can admire God's wonderful creations.
iv) SENTI-SENTI: You have to care about me. Shower me with attention and love. Be involved in my life, but not too involved. I need privacy one in a while. PDA, yes. Unless I say we shouldn't. And in such situations, don't ask me stupid questions like "Why not?".

4) HYGIENE: Please. PLEASE. *insert your native language for 'please'. Be clean. Odor of any sort is a NO. You want to kill me?

5) EXPERIENCE: I like sex a lot. If you are a virgin, don't bother. I am not a teacher (unless you want me to be ;) ). My prince charming will get it daily, nightly, and ever so rightly. I expect this gesture to be reciprocated in full capacity.

What else do I want from my prince charming? Doesn't really matter jareh. These are the important ones. So, any candidates? :)

DISCLAIMER: These are not necessarily the real wishes of the author. This post was written to prove a point. I'd like to see who can figure it out. So, please. Use the comment boxes. What do you think the point of this post is?