24 May, 2011

The Diary of Snow White I

Posted by CeceNoStockings at 8:35 AM
Hey Diary,

How have you been? Me? I guess I’m good, but a lot has happened to me since the last time we ‘spoke’. Do you remember Dana? Daddy’s stupid bitch P.A. I used to go shopping with and do my nails with? Yeah? Well, he decided he was going to marry her. OUT OF THE FREAKING BLUE!

Can you imagine that!? So that was why she was being all nice to me. I knew something fishy was going on; the way Daddy used to look at her, the obscene amounts of time they spent together. P.As do NOT spend that much time with their bosses!! And they especially do not hang around the house all the time like she does! I just figured she enjoyed being around me! I mean, who wouldn't? But, appaz, she was just trying to warm her way into our home.

This is all my fault! If only I had been a little more attentive. Just a little more perceptive and observant, I could have stopped this. But alas, the wedding date has been set.

That skinny bitch. I hate her!! Now I miss Mummy L. I mean, this only goes to show that she cannot be trusted, right? She asked me to be her chief bridesmaid. Imagine the nerve!! And yes, you guessed right; I said a big fat NO! Daddy was very displeased and Dana acted like she was sad and all, but I could see right through her woe-is-me act! She’s a good actress, but not good enough to fool me.

I decided that it was my duty to free Daddy from the shackles of this gold-digging whore. I had tried to talk to him before but he just could find no fault in his ‘queen’. Urrggghhh! I tried to call the caterers to jumble up the orders for the food for the wedding; I tried to shred her wedding dress, and even tried to invite and uninvite some guests. Let’s just say that Lady Luck was not on my side. The wedding was to go on as scheduled and Daddy was more than enraged at me. Little Ms. P.A.-turned-wife just kept on crying and playing the victim all through the whole fiasco. Ah well...

I made up my mind that if Daddy wasn’t going to see the light, then I was going to run away from home. There was no way I was going to live with that woman. I knew fully well it was a glamorous life, but the thought of seeing Dana trying to take Mummy’s place just broke my heart. Plus, I’ve always wanted to be an actress. I figured now would be as good a time as any to chase my dream. Better to kill two birds with one stone than kill...ha, I’ve got nothing.

Anyway, as I write this, I’m in a shabby motel in Hollywood. It’s so not what I’m used to but at least when I become super famous, I’ll have experiences to draw on to put in my bestseller tell-all. WOOP WOOP!!
I’m going for an audition for a commercial tomorrow. I’m really excited about it and I hope I get the part.

By the way, I dyed my hair platinum blonde. I’m kinda getting my Marilyn Monroe on right now. Plus, I’m no longer Mackenzie Black. My name is Snow White.
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So, that's Snow's first diary entry. Written by the one and only @nwaokpoechi, who I think should really start blogging again. Thanks for reading. I really hope you liked it. Also, if you missed Cindy's Diary, feel free to use the links to go back.

12 comments:

ibetapassmyneighbour said...

Awwwww......cry baby boo hoo.....at least u doing wot u like...*shrugs*....

Btw cece....wey d akara???

lagoshunter said...

Aren't you throwing a tantrum?
Isn't it more likely that you're not ready to share your Daddy with anybody else seeing that mummy isn't there?

Daddy is first & foremost a man and sometimes, a gold digger is just what a man needs for validation.....

terdoh on May 24, 2011 at 10:52 AM said...

Wow...how do I meet up to this? :(

OOkpoechi said...

LMAO. Thanks, I guess.

cecenostockings on May 24, 2011 at 1:00 PM said...

LOL. Don't mind her. As for the akara, shey you left? And you know what they say about cold akara.

Deola on May 24, 2011 at 1:02 PM said...

Onyinye o! Nice one!

cecenostockings on May 24, 2011 at 1:06 PM said...

Oh skeeen?! So men need gold diggers for validation? I was not aware of this!

cecenostockings on May 24, 2011 at 1:25 PM said...

You'll do fine, luv :)

OOkpoechi said...

Every man needs a gold-digger. Issokay. I'll be sure to remember that.

musingsofagidimallam on May 24, 2011 at 8:42 PM said...

n here we are with another contemporary spin on a classic fairy tale...beautiful work...I'm alredi savouring the other pieces yet to come...

Unforgettable on May 31, 2011 at 8:34 PM said...

Dear Diary,

I just read a very interesting post on Coco's blog written by @nwaokpoechi and I absolutely love it. I wonder why she doesn't blog anymore....

OOkpoechi said...

Thanks Ebs :D

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