10 May, 2011

Cindy's Diary II

Posted by CeceNoStockings at 8:25 AM
Hello! Today's instalment was written by my awesome friend Onyinye. Hope y'all enjoy it as much as I did. Also, you can like to follow her on twitter -» @nwaokpoechi :)
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Damn, damn, damn!! DAMN!!! I forgot my glass slipper at the party. This is just great! If Mother finds out I was there, she will have my pretty head on a platter. Hmmmm. I don’t think she will though. I mean, the slipper cannot possibly be traced to me. Or can it? Chei...I’ve put myself in trouble. Em...I don’t think she’ll find it sha; they’re like a million size eights in this town. Phew!! Cindy, Cindy, Cindy, you have got to calm down. I had better get to cleaning this kitchen and finishing this pot of soup before those daughters of Jezebel arrive.

Ehen, before I forget, those two idiots – Gris-whatever and Esmerugly ...you should’ve seen what they wore. Kai. I was too weak to even laugh. All I can say is that something has to be sacrificed to the gods of fashion to appease for that abomination. They made me help them zip their dresses and shine the shoes on their feet. See the fools discussing on how they would they would charm the billionaire’s son with their grace and good looks. I chuckled. Then they looked at me and said, "Just look at this one. You’re not even going to the party and you have the guts to laugh. Ugly little thing." Ugly? If only they knew. That was when Mother walked in. "Chop, chop girls! We’ve got to hurry. The party starts in a bit." They started hurrying towards the door. I thought maybe I should try my luck, and asked Mother if I could join them later. Big mistake! "Of course not, Cindy. You belong in the kitchen, my dear." SLAM. The door went in my face. Imagine.

I went to the kitchen, sobbing as I was cleaning. I couldn't help but wonder why Daddy would condemn me to such a fate. I mean, how am I supposed to be free from the shackles of these people? Anyhow sha, God dey.

The next thing I knew, one old lady landed in the kitchen, wand and all. She said she was my fairy godmother. I know, I know. Fairy godmother in this day and age? But whatever, she said she could get me to the party and that was all that mattered to me at that point. With the wave of her wand, everything I needed appeared, from a limousine and a chauffeur to a sexy blue dress and a pair of glass slippers studded at the heel with Swarovski crystals. Yes boss! Now that’s what I’m talking about. "Choiiiiiii, Aunty nothing do you!! Thank you so much." I gave her one serious bear hug. She told me to make sure I was back by 12, because by then the ‘jazz’ would have worn off. And then she disappeared, as quickly as she had appeared. Me I just locked the door and left the house in my limousine. Lemme write that again. MY limousine. Ahhhhh...it felt so good to own something so nice, even if it was just for a short while.

But Diary, as we all know, life is not a fairy tale. As I was dancing with the billionaire’s son – his name is Duro by the way – the clock decided that was when it wanted to strike 12 and I had to run to leave the place in time. That’s how I stupidly lost my slipper. Mscheeeew. Nothing good ever happens to me. Ever. Just when I thought we were making a connection. Ah well. Shit happens. Just that in my case, it’s all the freaking time.

Ah ah, is that the doorbell? They’re back already? Drat!! Gotta go get the door. Hopefully, I’ll have time to write again tomorrow. Till then, as always, I remain ever hopeful.

13 comments:

d3ola on May 10, 2011 at 8:59 AM said...

Onyinye ooooo! I'm literally rolling on the floor here! Good job!

freshprinz on May 10, 2011 at 9:29 AM said...

Cinderella with a naija twist. I like.....:)

OOkpoechi said...

Thanks Dee :D

Adaora said...

OMG!this is amazing and totally hilarious!! You brought to najia level..lmao...'aunty nothing do you'!

Michi on May 10, 2011 at 11:10 AM said...

I love!!!!!!!!

Vivian said...

Haha...too funny.

OOkpoechi said...

Thanks guys

david oduh said...

Wowwww. Nw dts rily beautiful. As beautiful as ∂ heart of ∂ author:)

Unforgettable on May 10, 2011 at 6:01 PM said...

this was so funny! Gris-whatever and Esmerugly hahahah

Terdoh on May 11, 2011 at 3:05 PM said...

Now that was funny. Nice one oh.

Funmi LilacGrey said...

I absolutely love this....its so amazing...

ekwe on May 17, 2011 at 3:21 PM said...

jazz??!!! that was really funny!!!

sherry said...

kai, i would have bn rolling on d floor if i wasnt in class . this is reallly good!!

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