If I Won The Lottery

Yes, I've fantasised often about winning some sort of lottery. Doesn't everyone? In these fantasies, I try to play out my reaction, but a recurring problem I face is "Who do I tell?".

I gave up on lotteries a long time ago because I never won anything. Not even those ugly face caps or oversize t-shirts they give away. I just couldn't take the heartbreak and disappointment anymore, you know? Especially because I always went above and beyond. I once bought three crates of mineral in the span of a week in an attempt to win whatever was "under the bottle cap". What are the chances of getting "TRY AGAIN" seventy-two (72) times? And then there was the time I spent almost six thousand every week on Glo airtime texting "WIN" from dawn to dusk. *sigh* Thank God those days are behind me.

Of course, I still get tempted to participate when I hear the commercials on the radio, or see ads in the newspaper, or pictures of winners accompanying the newspaper ads, and I wonder what those people did that I didn't. I adopted several coping mechanisms:

1) Pretend I don't know what's going on.
2) I convince myself the lottery is rigged.
3) I fantasize about playing and winning.

The first never works, the second has come around to bite me in the ass (my cousin won a car), and the third is why we are here today.

To properly fantasize about winning the lottery, I have to first envision myself participating fully. It's the most painful part because the memory of all my lost money haunts me still. Finally, I imagine myself winning. Now, this plays out differently for me every time because I can never quite figure out how I really want to react - get excited, play it cool/indifferent, or cuss them out for taking so much of my money - or who the first person I want to tell is. Well, yeah. The winners are usually published in the papers, or announced on the radio or whatever, but on the off chance that I'm the only one who knows about my win, who do I tell?

You'd think I'd like my family to be the first to know, yeah? LOL. Don't get me wrong, my family is awesome in its own way. But while it certainly has its charms, my family is not bereft of flaws. I've played out several scenarios in my head. The timing and outfits are different in each one, and we aren't always in the same position, but the general outline is the same - It's a hot afternoon, and I enter the house sweating, parched and giddy with excitement. My mother is in her room occupied with the game on her phone and I prance in, perfect teeth aglitter. My greeting is returned with a curt nod as she can't be bothered to look away from her phone screen, and then I blurt out that I have won the lottery. Without hesitation, she pauses the game and smiles at me. "My girl!" She says, her not-as-perfect-as-mine teeth aglitter. My sister and brother appear, seemingly out of thin air, and they proceed to share my money. I ask for a glass of water, and my mother asks why I didn't buy with my newly acquired "wealth". And then I become the family's joint bank account. Get the picture?

Telling the church first, in the name of "giving testimony", is something I'm very unlikely to do. You see, I've come to understand that running a church is a business and, like all businesses, requires financing. Which is why some end to have as many as four offerings in one service. While I'm not against giving my offering and donating when one cause/project or the other is mentioned, I don't see why I would want to go up on stage and announce to the entire church that I just won a ton of money. It's like this:
What I might say: "Praise the Lord! I won two million naira in the lottery. The Lord has been so good to me!"
What the rest of the church hears: "Prraise the Lord! I am now undertaking the financial needs of everyone in the church! The Lord has been so good to us!" And then the usual announcements won't seem so usual anymore. I'll feel like they're being directed at me, because the announcer keeps staring at me while stating how much is needed for new roofing, or the upcoming bazaar. Let's not talk about how popular I'll instantly become, people coming up to "greet" me after service and what-not.

Do I rush to my friends with the awesome news? Well, this is tricky for me, because my friends (the ones I really call my friends) are truly amazing. However, not too lang ago, I was with a friend who recently came into some wealth, and he was speaking quite frankly with me. Telling me how people approach him for a loan on a daily basis, and he feels obligated to help because "they're friends", and how getting his money back has become a problem because most of them are under the impression that there's a lot more where the money came from. He said something that made me laugh a little, but has a lot of truth in it - "Wealth is a tree everyone wants to climb, and I'm the ladder.". Now, I'm considering whether or not I want to be a ladder. Don't really fancy getting stepped on.

I may come across as being selfish or whatever, but I'm really not. I don't have a problem with lending a helping hand here and there, but I constantly try to avoid being taken advantage of. Please, I can't shout. So, in the event that I do win the lottery, I'll most likely keep the news to myself. Wouldn't you? Think about it. I'm sure you'd agree.

Summer Wind - @osisiye

This post was sent in by @osisiye. Hope you enjoy it. You can check out his blog here -> Osisiye's blog

Meanwhile, those of you "missing" me should check out Redish InkSpots I'm working on something for here as well sha, so... Be patient :) yeah. Pilz out niccurrs.

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Two sweethearts like a summer wind
In school, when she had her first period, she snuck a note to me. I’m stained. I ran to the Boys Hostel which was closer to the classes and got her a roll of toilet roll-Rose.

When she gave some teacher lip, the principal sent her out of the class and told her to go cut the lawn where we held assembly every morning. I stayed back in the class-to neatly pack her books into her locker and together we spent all day outside. We sat on old newspaper and watched the whirring of the fan in the classrooms. We ignored the busybody teachers that passed and called us nincompoops. During the night prep, she told me the experience of the afternoon made her itch and I offered to get her some dusting powder. She declined.

During our valedictory service, she introduced me to her mum who gave me a pack of jollof rice. And in the graduation party after, she had her hair in brown hair extensions that looked like the hairdresser got pissed everytime he plaited a strand halfway-Pick and Drop. She wore a brown shirt that parted to reveal her cleavage and if you peered deeper, you would see her black bra. Each time she smiled, the chandelier dimmed. I proposed to her.

She went to one of these universities, modeled on a secondary school. Don’t step out, don’t do this…don’t do them and don’t do those. I took solace in religion. Every

Sunday saw me headed to church, I was the first to get there and while others were in a rush to get out, I stayed back and gloried in her presence. Oh! The church was same as the mission establishment which founded her school, and we never missed the opportunity to see on Sundays-Akoka to Canaan land.

All summer long, we sang a song and strolled that golden sand

I was posted to Lagos. She to Ebonyi. Then she called. ‘Osisiye, I am coming to see you this weekend. I am ready’. I asked no further questions,but got a drink-Alomo.
We went to the beach, I drank some vodka, she danced some salsa. I talked to her friends, she stared into my eyes. We took a walk, down, down past the horses stamping the ground infrequently, past the beach destitutes who built their shelters with refuse bags and palm fronds, past where sand was heaped waiting for trucks that would come in the morning. Beside the sand dunes, she sat with her back on the sand dunes-a bulwark.

I lost you to a summer wind

She stared into my eyes. I kissed her deeply, she clung to my neck and grasped my buttons. When proceedings were about to begin, I encountered some difficulty-a barrier. She took no notice of it, neither did I and we together groaned to tear apart all barriers. After the proceedings, there was some blood-on her thighs. I couldn’t get some toilet roll nearby-no Rose after I hit the rose. She smiled and walked towards the waters. I protested that the salt water wouldn’t be good for her… she smiled. I stayed some distance and watched her squat to cup some sea water, she backed the water body-foreboding and throbbing. In the dark I saw it hulking-a wave. I walked toward her, opened my mouth and felt the waves on my feet drowning my ‘Come Out’. The wave went back just as it came, no squatting princess, just plain bleached sand-endless.

The Audacity To Breathe

Hello ladies and gentlemen.

Please direct your attention to this message -> The Audacity to Breathe

New Year

Happy New year :D

So, everyone did the whole end-of-year-post thing. Well, I'm doing the beginning-of-new-year post. :)

So. Yeah. :|

Sha, I have a new blog. This one will still be here, but that one's gonna be more operational.

I only have one post sha. You can check it out. It's the pilot for a new serie's Ara's Quest. I hope you like it. Please leave comments.

So, happy new year.

I hope y'all have amazing years WAY better than the last.

Peace, love & Ribena :)

Behind Her Smile

Hey!

So, this post I decided to put up against my better judgment. I'm still trying to get back into the spirit of things.

Please leave comments, thoughts, and such in the comments section.

Thanks.
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"My goodness, Tobi! You're so bad!"

I smile. I'm not so bad. Well, I could be worse. Much worse. Ari just needs to loosen up more. I was merely pointing out to her how hot the guy two tables away would look between the two of us in a more serene setting.

She always laughs when I make a pass at her. I laugh too, although I'm really not joking. I really do have a thing for her. The mere thought makes her uncomfortable, so I make my desires jokes for her amusement. Anything to keep her happy.

"You look fine, Ari. I wish you'd stop fidgeting."

She smiles coyly. Her insecurity has always been her biggest drawback. For the umpteenth time since I've known her, I wish she could see the beautiful woman everyone else sees.

She's wearing the same dress she wore the last time we were here. Strapless to show off her smooth shoulders, short to show off her amazing legs, fitted and cinched at the waist to shoi$w off her rocking body, and caramel to compliment her skin. I'd picked it out for her earlier and made her wear it for the rest of the day. It's still as hot as it was that day a year ago. I remember I'd joked about stealing it and altering it to fit me, and maybe stealing her body as well. She'd giggled a little and smiled.

"How are you, Ari?"

Lately, I've gotten better at telling when she's not okay. She smiles. That smile I've become too familiar with.

"I'm fine sweetie."

She's not. The light in her eyes, snuffed out. I can almost feel her struggling to keep up her cheery act. Sickening, the feeling is.

"Talk to me."

Those words..... As I utter them now, I ache to smack myself across my face. Talk about "too little too late". Should have noticed earlier. Should've seen through the lies, the "I'm fine"s, the fake smiles.... I'm her best friend. Some best friend I turned out to be.

Don't blame yourself, Tobi.

I scoff. How could I not? I stare at her now. Watch the single tear rolling down her cheek. She's still smiling. It hurts even more. I just want her to be happy.

I'll be fine, sweetie. You should eat. I have to go."

I reach out to hold her outstretched hand. It's warm, but just for a second, and then nothing. She's gone.

I'm alone again. Surrounded by music and cheery people eating and chatting away. My appetite fails me, so I leave.

I take the long route home. Earphones in, volume set to the highest, I let my feet find their own way, and my mind wander back to that day a year ago.

We were seating at the exact same booth by the window. I assumed there was some sort of party going on, because the place was packed. Our order was taking forever, and Ari and I had talked non-stop. Mostly arguing about the dress I'd practically forced her to buy and wear. My phone buzzed, and I was soon distracted by several chats.

"Tobi, I'm going on a trip."
I hadn't even glanced up. "Where to?"
"Not sure yet."
I kept typing away on my phone. "How can you be traveling if you don't know where you're going?"
"I just need to clear my head."
I'd put my phone down and stared at her. She was smiling, and I'd figured it was just another one of her episodes, as I'd liked to call them. "Fine, Ari. If you feel you need a vacation of some sort, go ahead. Just don't stay too long, okay?" She'd glanced at her feet. "Meanwhile, that guy over there is checking you out."
She'd giggled. "He is NOT! Stop it, Tobi."

I'm not walking anymore. I take a deep breath and open my eyes. I want to ring the bell. To be greeted by that cheery smile that came so rarely. To go up to her room and gossip all night and talk about a whole bunch of irrelevant things.

But I know she won't be there. Hasn't been, and won't be, for a while.

That night, I'd walked her home as usual. As we hugged in front of her door, she'd whispered in my ear "I'll be fine."

Sighing, I turn around and head home.

Johnnie Walker - #WhatsYourStory

Confidence imparts a wonderful inspiration to it's possessor. - John Milton

Ever been to that point where it feels like you've hit rock bottom? Completely overwhelmed by feelings of hopelessness and helplessness? Desperately seeking something to inspire you? Well, I've kinda been dwelling there recently. Indulging in self-pity, wallowing in depression, and making my mind a comfortable home to thoughts that are usually most unwelcome.

Part of the problem is, I can't write. Writing has always been the way I express myself. My release. My safe haven. I can always write down my thoughts and feelings, or stories, or random stuff, but lately I haven't been able to do any of that.

I get an idea for a story, and I just can't will myself to pick up my pen and notepad (or my phone) and write it down. Even when I try, I find myself questioning my ability to successfully execute the story, and so I just let the idea die. Now, I find myself staring at a blank page for minutes wondering what to write about.

I used to write stories on the spot, and then *POOF* Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Unfortunately, this lack of confidence has slowly begun to project itself unto various other aspects of my life.

There are a million and one ideas swimming around in my head, but I just lack the motivation. Making any attempt just seems like a waste of time. What would be the point?

Failure is, in a sense, the highway to success, inasmuch as every discovery of what is false leads us to seek earnestly after what is true, and every fresh experience points out some form of error which we shall afterward carefully avoid - John Keats

One of my teachers at school used to say "Sometimes, you need to fall so you can take a quick break before getting back up and continuing stronger."

I'm scared of failure. It's the reason why I haven't gone after a lot of things I really want to. It's a terrible feeling when I enter a contest and lose, or I go after something and don't get it.

I've tried to go after some of the things I want. I expected the obstacles, but still broke down and gave up when I encountered them instead of finding a solution to the problem. Like I half-expected them to just solve themselves, or be taken care of by someone else. It almost never works out that way though.

Problems never fix themselves. Yes, the solution may, in fact, be in the problem itself, but you need to DO something about it, and not just wish it away, or add it to your list of excuses.

Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It's easy to give up. To lose hope, resign to failure, and just tag it "fate". I've been close myself. Dangerously close. But the truth is you only truly fail when you truly stop trying.

With the help of the most amazing people in the world (my friends), I pulled through. There comes a time when you just have to suck it up, and make a conscious decision to keep moving. Your problems are only as hard/difficult as you let them be.

If you truly want something, don't just want it. Go after it. If you fall, you get up and try again. I try my best to never regret anything I do. Even when I make mistakes (and I do a LOT), I learn from it and move on.

I WILL get where I'm going to. There's a wall in my way, and I have several options.

1). Walk through it with my super powers.
2). Hit it until it breaks or gives way
3) Go around it
4). Go over it
5). Go under it.

As life would have it, the day I made the decision to stop throwing myself pity parties with an attendance of just me and keep trying, I got the email that led to me writing to this post.

Something big is coming from Johnnie Walker. So, go ahead and like their facebook page.

This post may be an advert, but it's also my way of sticking my foot in a door that I saw closing. It's not too late to turn things around for you.

Keep walking.

A Cheery Message From @boluxxxx

So, you may or may not know I'm kinda going through a bit of a rough time right now. Which is kinda why I haven't posted.

Anyhu, @boluxxxx sent me a bc that actually made me laugh. Yeah. So, I decided to share :D

NA BY FORCE TO MARRY?
During a wedding reception; the groom was called upon to give his vote of thanks to his guests and this is what he came up with:
1. I want to first of all thank the Lord Almighty for creating my wife and to also thank the pastor and his wife for lending us their wedding rings.
2. Special appreciation to my landlord who lent us his car.
3. I am most grateful to my boss for... approving the loan I used for the wedding.
4. Big thanks to the committee of friends for the appeal fund they raised on my behalf.
5. Also to my brother's wife, thank you for lending us your wedding gown.
6. Am so grateful to the cake designer for the cake. I promised to return it tomorrow morning as agreed without cutting or eating out of it.
7. Special thanks to my friends who brought food from their homes to help me feed you all. Please for those who were served food good luck and for Those who didn't get any, well we will make it up to you during our child dedication ( hopefully next year).
8. Very big thanks to my parents for bringing the village cultural band to supply the music as well as entertain us all here, today.
9. Not forgetting the church marriage committee, thank you for persuading my wife to marry me.
10. Appreciation to the married men in the church for rushing me into this marriage.
11. The women are not left out, thanks a lot for teaching my wife how to dance.
12. To the youths, thank you for sweeping and decorating this venue with palm fronds.
13. I am also grateful to my teenage friends for helping with the Zobo drink
14. Appreciation to my co-tenants for contributing money for the cameraman
15. Well, I wish you all safe journey and I pray you don't experience what I suffered for this wedding.

Thank you, Bolu ... Y'all have a blessed week.

Also, go to 19th Street and subscribe to follow the 30 Day Guest Blogger Challenge.

Peace, Love & Ribena

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