Say "Hello" To Goodbye

This is a story that's been playing around in my head for weeks. Initially, I wasn't quite sure how to get it out. And then, this came to me *whooosh*. Please leave your thoughts in the comment box. Thanks much

*****

Even when he'd hugged me, I knew.
It wouldn't be the same again. It couldn't.

It didn't matter how much I wanted it.
How long I'd craved it.
My patience, my care, my emotions.
Irrelevant.
Every bit of hope. Every beautiful fantasy.
Shattered. The fragments ground into dust.
Lost. Like ashes scattered over a cliff.

I stared at my phone, that accursed device.
The message within - "there's someone else"
It hit me again. The pain and the hurt. The anger.
I wished I could hurt it back. Make it suffer.
Damn!! The tears I have to hide.
Like the feelings I'd locked away and hidden from sight.

His back turned to me, I watched him intently. Bent over his work.
Oblivious to my emotional rollercoaster
I shouldn't be here. I knew. He knew.
But I was. I'd come because he'd asked me to.
Because I still lusted.
Yes. I did, even though I knew I shouldn't.

What I desperately wanted to hear, he hadn't said.
No empty promises, no false hope.
Leave or stay.
A decision. He'd left it to me to make.
I'd be his for as long as he wanted. But he wouldn't be mine.
I'd get the scraps. But I'd be happy.
Wouldn't I?

Me. Him. Her.
I couldn't. I wanted to. I almost did. But I couldn't.
He didn't look up as I got dressed. I didn't see him turn as I shut the door gently.
My echoing footsteps in the empty hallway taunt me.
I ignore them. I have to. I must.
I'd never completely leave him.
Couldn't forget it all
PING!!! His "Goodbye" said it all.

Shower Hour

Hello. :) Honestly, I don't even know how to introduce today's post. But, it was written by @terdoh sha. You can visit his personal blog here if you so desire. I won't bore you with details of how I begged him before he finally wrote it. It's finally here, so please read and enjoy :)

Also, if you haven't already, please go to the nominations page of the Nigerian Blog Awards and nominate your favourite blogs. Remember to fill in the blog URLs and NOT the names. For a list of blogs you should nominate (for those who aren't sure) you can hit me up here, or on twitter. Much thanks.

And now, without further delay, your feature presentation......*dramatic music*




Ssup y’all. Yes, yes I know, I was supposed to be on the Princess
Diaries series…sorry, the Diary of Snow White series, but a
project-defense-exam combo is defined as a female dog’s female dog.
Sad. I’m really sorry for that. Apology accepted? Yes? No? No? Why na?
Abeg na? Anyway, even though I’m in the middle of exams right now, I
feel more than obligated to post something on this awesome blog…I
mean, if my name can be etched somewhere as an author on this page,
it’s an honor. But my head was crammed with formulas and definitions,
and blog ideas were just chilling at the bottom of my brain’s
foundation. I wanted to post something, but I didn’t know whether I
wanted to be deep (almost impossible, I’m as shallow as a bathtub, and
I’m only 14 years old), or to be funny (also impossible, my funny bone
broke while I was trying to break dance to impress one Dammy girl like
that) or to be a cynical critic (which wouldn’t have been too hard,
Wizkid’s “album” is out and full of gbagauns, and Vic O is still
breathing), or to just speak my mind and say an opinion…I was really
blank! But as fate would have it, I was masturba…*ahem* I was taking a
shower one morning when I remembered an incident that happened between
me and one of my many (five and a half) exes. So I thought; “good
fuckity fuck, I should blog about that!” Should I? Should I?? Yes?
Okay. :)
First of all, there will be no questions asked after I am done.
Second, for the purpose of the post, let’s call her Ada? Yeah…Ada is a
good name. Okay, so Ada and I dated for over 5 years. Yup…striker like
me stayed married for 5 years. Yes, we had some rough times. Even
though her best friend gave me my first (couple) kiss(es), and my best
friend saw her uhm…naked a couple quadruple times and used to brag
about it to me, we stuck together sha. But they say all good things
come to an end…(which is prolly why the relationship took so long to
plumet). But the post isn’t about my relationship with Ada. It’s about
an incident that happened AFTER we broke up. I remember something
Chris Rock said about men’s lies vs women’s lies. Men lie more often,
but women lie about serious shit! A man lie is: “I was at Tony’s
house”. A woman lie is “Yes, the baby is yours”.
I could only agree less.
On the day Ada broke up with me (for reason’s best known to God, her
and wikileaks), she kissed me, and when I escorted her out, she turned
back at the gate and said “Do you have a twin that’s less of an
asshole?” and then left without allowing me to say one of my witty
comebacks. After that, when she got home, she sent me an IM that said
“we can still be friends though”. That bit pissed me off…that’s like
having a peeing zone in a swimming pool…or a smoking zone in an
elevator. It can’t work! But she stuck like flies on packaged shit.
And I was used to having her around even though she broke my heart
like a world record.
About a year after we broke up, I’m in school when she sends a message
to me and the convo was something like this;
Ada: Baby, you’ve abandoned me like a sinking ship. It’s not fair oh!
I thought you loved me.
Me: I did…I think.
Ada: You still do jor! I have something to tell you.
Me: What is it?
Ada: I don’t feel too good. My tummy hurts and…
Me: And…?
Ada: Terdoh, I think I’m pregnant.
Me: Congratulations! When are you due?
Ada: Terdoh! I’m not joking! And you know the baby is yours!
*In the back of my head, Chris Rock goes “I told ya niokar! I told ya!”*
I thought back to the last time we had sex…uhm! Wait! We never had sex!
Me: Ehm…but we broke up OVER a year ago. Besides, you always stopped
me whenever I wanted to kpansh. Kpoxing never was “your thing”. Are
you having PMS again? Which time all dis one start?
Ada: I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. And I’m not about
to have a baby! I’m only in 300 level. I’m not about to ruin my future
for you. I’m getting rid of it. The doctor said it would cost 80
grand.
Me: You’re broke again aren’t you? Or you want to buy iPad 2?
Ada: Your wise cracks aren’t getting you off the hook. Are you helping
me get rid of it?
Me: Uhm, lemme think about it for one minute.
One minute later, I sent;
“No. I am not helping you get (rid of) it. Whatever it is…next time
you’re broke, call a janitor or a repair man. Oh, and I love you.
*sinister smile*” (That emoticon cannot be displayed here, wordpress
wouldn’t understand)
That was the last I heard of Ada.
So while I was *cough* showering, I started thinking; what if she had
allowed me peep into the “bird's eye” when we were dating? What if she
gave me that Becky? Would I have paid that 80 grand for those punani
penetration tutorials?
The answer is no.
Thou shall not carry last! (13th commandment after Thou shall not
listen to Jim Iyke-12th and Thou shall not watch Beyonce’s “Girls”
video-11th)
I’m just grateful that things worked out the way they did. Who wants
to be a father at 14?

Author’s note: Moral of the story; Shower more. It prevents babies,
and gives you blog ideas. :D

Who's Got The Poison? (Part 6)

Tony lay there, on the floor of the living room, a pandemonium of emotions and thoughts coursing through his mind and soul. Each occurring feeling rivalled by it's direct opposite in a battle for dominance. He needed to clear his head of all the clashing thoughts, but how could he? He knew doing so wouldn't be possible. At least not now. Not while it was all still so fresh.

And, just like that, the images cam rushing back - his body and hers, tangled in intense sex. He closed his eyes and let it all sink in again. The way her moans echoed his pleasure, the bites and scratches that egged him on, the grinding of their bodies, that gloriously moist warmth, the pure ecstasy of it all. Breathe, Tony. Calm down.But he couldn't. Because, all he had allowed to take over his mind was building up to a climax. In that one moment, he'd both exploded with pleasure, and had reality crash down on him.

And then, the guilt began to well up inside him. Burning at the depth of his being. Gnawing at his conscience. He shouldn't have. But she came on to me. Didn't she? Memories came back in fractions. How she'd walked into the sitting room wearing nothing but her underwear. She'd laughed at his discomfort, and plopped down next to him. Teased him with her hands, running her fingers up his arm, prattling on about something he couldn't quite remember. Her hand had come to rest on his lap, dangerously close to his groin, several times, sending shock waves through his body. He could barely remember what had led up to that kiss. He could only watch the replay in his mind's eye. The kiss that had led up to all this. More blanks in his memory. The scenes replayed just like snapshots. She on top of him. Undressing him. Pleasing him with her hands and mouth, clearing every shadow of hesitation lurking around. He'd wanted her. Desperately. More flashes. Thrusting into her warmth, her muted moans of acceptance driving him over the edge sooner than he'd hoped.

In retrospect, he should have let it end there. Should have gathered himself and walked away. Walked away? He should have taken to his heels. But the hunger had festered in his soul, and, now that he'd had a taste, he had to have more. He'd feasted on her. Made up for every lack he had endured in the past months. He was as ravenous as a mythical creature released once every century or so to feed. And, just as in the case of such a creature, one measly offering of sacrifice wouldn't be enough to please him. His primal male instincts had kicked in and blocked all reasoning. He would have her. He would have all of her. And, with this resolve, he had broken down every resistance she'd tried to put up. She was his.

More guilt. How could something that had been so amazingly awesome make him feel like a first class bastard? If he were to be completely honest, what he'd done had shot him way above the station of 'bastard'. He was much worse. He felt undeserving. Unworthy. He cursed the insomnia that had kept him up so late and placed him at the scene, setting him up for this act of wanton cruelty and selfishness. What logical explanation did he have to offer should the time come? He'd acted without thinking, let his inner basic animal take over. Wrong move. He was a man, dammit!! He should have more restraint. He cursed inwardly. There was a pit in his bowels, and it was expand with each passing second. Mostly because he realised he only regretted how it had happened, but didn't feel the least bit unhappy that it had. In fact... he thought to himself.

Tony tapped the body that had snuggled into his. "Babe, are you okay."
Her response was sleepy "Yeah."
"Roll over."
"What?"
"I need you to roll over. Lie on your back." She did as she was told, and he proceeded to slip a finger into her. A moan escaped her throat. "You like that?" She nodded. "Good. I'm going to take care of you. You have to be really quiet though. Don't want her" he jerked his head towards the bedroom door "to wake up. Okay?" She nodded again. "Good." And then he took one of her nipples in his mouth.
As she revelled in all the pleasure she was getting, she knew they'd both begun something that would be difficult to back away from. She sighed. And to think I didn't really like him to begin with. As her body received hit-after-hit of immeasurable pleasure and satisfaction, Kemi stole a glance towards Temi's room door. This won't go over well if she ever finds out..

Behind a door in a dark room, Temi sat and cried silent tears.

The Diary of Snow White III

Today's post was written by both I and the lovely @nwaokpoechi. Please enjoy.
__________________________________________________________________
Diary, honestly, right now I'm freaked out about everything that's happened. Yes, EVERYTHING. If I hadn't already pinched myself several times, I'd think I was dreaming. Really. I don't know how things got this out of control. Okay, maybe I do. But c'mon! Who would've seen it coming?

Okay, I should've probably known something was up when I noticed that weird guy that was always following me. I just figured he was a stalker fan, you know? I am famous now, after all. And he's a guy. Guys adore my little projects. Even those who'd never let on that they do.

In all honesty, I wasn't quite sure about doing any of this. But it was an opportunity! Plus, I think there's a saying about looking a gift in the mouth?(How do you even do that? Gifts come in boxes and boxes don't have mouths). Anyhu, when Donald told me what the Indie movie I was getting a part in really was, I have to admit I wasn't very sure. I really didn’t think this was how I was going to start my career. But when you have lemons, trying to make apple juice is just well...out of the question. But he and his house mates convinced me I wouldn't be doing anything different from what I already did with them. Also, there'd be hot guys who'd take really good care of me, and the pay was...well, let's just say my new mercedes and boobs didn't pay for themselves..

Everything was fine, diary. We were happy again. But She just couldn't let us be! Who? Dana!! I don't understand why she couldn't just leave well enough alone! I'd already let her have daddy and the house and my old life. She was the one who hires that creepy guy to follow me around. Like, what the actual fuck?! And then she just shows up at the house one day, trying to get me to go back with her. Spewing all sorts of lies about daddy being dead. I know daddy isn't dead. He can't be dead. So, I asked her to leave, and offered to walk her to her car. Would you believe it? When we got outside, the crazy bitch started pulling me and trying to force me into the car. I managed to get free, and ran. Unfortunately, I kept looking back to see how far back she was and I ran into a pole. I blacked out after that.

When I came to, there was a totally gorgeous, dark-skinned guy leaning over me. I took to him instantly. His name's Duro, and he saw how I'd hit my head and fallen and came to help. He didn't see Dana though. I caught up with the Donald and the guys later though (Duro took me to go get checked at the hospital), and they told me they'd gotten home just as she was about to drive off. They suggested I file a police report against her for attempted kidnapping, so I did. Also, I got a restraining order.

So, my life's not been exactly smooth. But it all worked out. Duro and I are getting married. He's not always gonna be around, because he travels a lot, but that's okay. I really am lucky he happened to be passing by that day. Plus, did I mention he's filthy rich? Oh, yeah! SCORE!!! :)

As I write this, I’m packing my bags. The wedding is in two days and after that, the honeymoon. Maybe Paris, or Maui or Bali. We’re not sure yet. The best news is that he bought me a house in the country. It’s a large estate and it’s really quiet. And exactly the way I like it – complete with maids, servants, butlers and chauffeurs. It’s even better than what I had at home. Honestly, I’m super glad I bagged this one. Just between you and me, that whole acting thing wasn’t really my forte. Finally, I get to leave Hollywood. That life is not for me. I knew I was always meant to be a princess.

 ^_^

THE END.

Who's Got The Poison? (Part 5)

"You guys haven't had sex?!" Everyone at the restaurant paused to stare at Kemi, but she wasn't phased. She stared at Temi, seated across from her and trying furiously to hide her face with her hair, in utter bewilderment. "How can you not have shagged him already?! What do the two of you do locked up in your room all the time? Bible study?!"
Temi sank lower in her seat. "Kemi, hush now. Is it because I told you?"
"I'm talking normally now! Ahn ahn! Is it my fault these people can't mind their business?" She waved her hand passively at a group seated at a nearby table. "Don't change the topic. Oya. Explain. All those nights at his place. Nothing? Why?" She paused and sat up in her chair. " Is he gay?!" This last question elicited more stares from diners at the restaurant.

"Of course not, Kemi! Don't be ridiculous." At this point, Temi was wishing the ground would open up and swallow her. What possessed me to tell this girl about me and Tony now? Ehn? She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair "It's not that big a deal. I don't know why I even brought it up. Let's just forget it." She knew her attempts at escape were feeble and pointless. Kemi wouldn't let go of this. She already doesn't approve of him, and now I had to open my big mouth and tell her this. I will never hear the end of it. She took a sip from her glass of juice and stared at Kemi, who was still staring at her like she'd gone mad.

"But I don't understand, Temi." Kemi resumed in a much calmer tone. " If he's not gay, why won't he have sex with you?"
"It's not him, it's me. Don't look at me like that. I'm being serious." Temi paused, expecting Kemi to interrupt. Nothing. "I don't want to rush things with him. You know how easy it is to..."
Kemi cut her off "Temitope," she only ever called her by her full name when she was being really serious. "is this about Ifeanyi?."
Temi was silent. She'd hoped this wouldn't come up, but known it couldn't be avoided.

******************
Ifeanyi. Her most recent ex. The man that had possessed her heart and soul for three years. She remembered the first time she'd met him. She was fresh out of the university and fulfilling her national service obligations, serving as one of the assistants at a PR firm. He was a handsome, smooth-talking ladies man. He didn't work at the same firm she did, but he frequented their hallways on the regular. He was an image consultant for several large companies, and thus, brought in plenty of clients. She'd fallen for him long before he approached her, spewing compliments that made her heart flutter, and her head dizzy from sheer joy.

She became quite taken with him. His visits to her office were mostly focused on her presence there, even when he had business to discuss with the big guns, he'd sneak out of meetings to plant kisses on her forehead or lips. But the times spent outside the office were the ones she'd cherished the most. She was just starting to truly experience life, and he'd shown her how to open herself up to the special blend of euphoria life had to offer. Well, life with him at least. She didn't refuse when he asked her to move in with him. In fact, she liked to think she orchestrated the whole thing. Temi was purely and wholly happy. She had a great job, which she loved, and a man who loved her. Yes, life was beautiful as far as she was concerned.

And then the storm rolled in. Sometimes, Temi would sit and wish she'd seen the signs, or heard a forecast, but, truth be told, they'd all been there. Flashing lights and sounding warnings as clear and loud as the ones at a train track. And as much as she would love to believe she'd been tied to the tracks, powerless to escape the impending collision, that was far from the case. She had refused to see. Refused to hear. Temi had built a protective wall of fantasy around her seemingly blissful relationship. His reluctance to settle down, she readily understood and explained off to her friends as "too soon."; the late nights, she convinced herself were spent nowhere but the office; the business trips she couldn't go on because well, they were business trips; and having to move into another room whenever his sister came to visit because she had a mental disorder and was very possessive of her older brother. In fact, his concern for his sister's fragile condition only deepened her love for him. So much so, she didn't mind wiping away every trace of her presence in his bedroom whenever his sister, Adaora, was coming into town, so she could be comfortable there. On the surface, it was all okay.

Three years down the line, and two abortions later, she'd gotten home to find her possessions neatly arranged by the compound gate. An envelope placed on top the pile of boxes, and held down with a medium-sized rock. At that moment fear and confusion flooded her brain. A part of her new what was about to happen, but her wall, though beginning to crack, stood still, hindering realisation from taking root. She reached for the envelope tentatively, and opened it.

"Temi, I'm sorry this is happening like this. But, as you must know by now, we can't go on. Adaora and I are married now. It would be unfair for me to keep living with someone else. She's moving in today. Please endeavouur to have your things cleared before she arrives. I hope the enclosed cheque covers any inconvenience. Ifeanyi."

As she read, the echoes of her crumbling wall resounded in her head. She remembered feeling like her soul had been wrenched out of her, leaving her hollow. Calm and cool on the surface, destroyed on the inside, she'd taken the cheque out of the envelope, ripped up the letter, flagged down a cab to Kemi's place, and never looked back.
*********************

Now, here she sat at a crowded restaurant, two years later, silent tears slowly streaming down her face as she remembered. She felt Kemi's warm palm on her hand and looked up from the table cloth. "I'm okay, Kemi." Her voice was shaky. Barely sudible.
Kemi felt miserable. This was her fault, afterall. She'd hurt her friend while pursuing her own selfish goal. A goal she hadn't even achieved. "It's okay, Temi. I'm sorry I brought it up."
"I just son't want to be stupid like that again, Kemi." Her eyes were red and swollen now. "I'm not sure if I'd be able to survive it."
Kemi gazed into the eyes of her bestfriend, and knew that she'd meant what she'd said. "I know, Temi."

The Diary of Snow White II

Diary, can you say "Whoa!"? Of course you can't, silly. You're just paper. But I love you anyway, because if you weren't here, I'd have no one to tell what happened. Yes, something happened.

Remember how I told you I had an audition for a commercial? I didn't get the part! Those good-for-nothing, no-brained ass wipes, turned me down! What?! I'm not pretty enough to sell toothpaste?! Ugh!! Dammit!! Needless to say, I was quite pissed. So, I sat on the sidewalk in front of the building and just let my anger boil.

I mean, I so don't get what's going on! I always get what I want! But daddy wouldn't not marry that tramp, and now I couldn't get a stupid part in a dumb commercial. I just sat there on the sidewalk for what seemed like forever, thinking over my now pathetic life. What's life if you can't get what you want at the snap of your fingers? I miss the mansion, and the maids, and the cars, and my credit cards. *sigh* My poor babies. I'm sure they miss me too. And I think I even started to cry a little bit.

Well, diary, fret not! For I have been rescued from the dump we were residing in. After I'd sulked for a reasonable amount of time, I tried to get up off the sidewalk, and I bumped into some idiot who couldn't watch where he was going. His coffee spilled all over me!! Who drinks coffee in the afternoon?! Who?!?! Fortunately, a nice gentleman calmed me down before I freaked out majorly. He took me to go get a change of clothes, and I told him our story over lunch.

Maybe not our story exactly. I may have fibbed a little. How little is "a little"? Well, I may or may not have told him daddy is dead, and his second wife tried to kill me because she was jealous and wanted everything in the will. What?! C'mon!! I don't even know how that story slipped out! Honest. But I couldn't stop once I'd started, so I continued. Hammed it up a bit. Told him she'd even sent assassins after me several times since I'd left, and I've been moving from one motel to the other to survive (at least it's kinda true). Sweetheart that he is, he decided to take me in.

So now, we have a comfortable room in the most adorable house I've ever seen (after daddy's, of course). He has 3 other house mates, and they own a talent agency together. Would you believe it? They're getting me a part in an indie movie that's about to go into production. :D No, I don't think we need to discuss what I have to give them in return, do you? I mean, it's not like I'm the first. Everyone uses what they have to get what they want (I'm learning very quickly.) As far as I'm concerned, all the world needs to know is that these really nice, slightly good-looking fellas took me in and helped me out. Yes, that's what I shall be writing in my tell-all book when I get around to it.

Looking forward to bigger things *giggle* and bigger roles in bigger movies. Will write later. Gotta go take care of some...stuff :)

*Snow* xx

My Despair

Free-falling into the depth of despair
No strings holding on, no safety net
For once, I forget all my inhibitions
I'm just me. Completely free.
And as empty as the space all around me
I want to pour my soul into a glass
Stir it up a bit. See what becomes of it.

These shadows, they won't let me be.
Persistently hovering, haunting me eternally
Dark clouds over my already dim existence.
Trapped in my freedom. Escape, a distant dream
A fantasy. With non-existent schemes and plots.
And so I fall deeper still. Further down the hole.
Uncomfortable with the knowledge that this hole, I did dig

And now, my heart's pounding. Getting closer
I just want it to end, to all be over
But what I want doesn't always matter
I'll take what I'm given, or go on without
This is the point I feared but longed for
The darkness, so much more than welcome
__________________________________________________________________
I really don't know what to say about the above poem. Been going through some ish lately, and this is the best way I could let out some frustration. So, you can leave your thoughts below if you like. I'd love to see them though.
PS: I am very aware it doesn't rhyme.