Okay. So, I wrote this about two years ago. It's a three-part poem. It's not awesome. It's just something I wrote spur-of-the-moment (do I hyphenate too much?).. I was kinda mixed up at the time. Some of you have already read it. Anyhu, I just thought I should put it up here, so enjoy. Or not. You know, whatever.
I
Tall and handsome, but definitely not dark
Sweet and kind for as long as i can remember
Deathly sexy, and a sense of humor to boot
Friends for a while, and then not really
Now things seem to be different
But a good different, interesting different really
Pressed up against him, my heart beats faster
His arms around me, i feel safer
I barely hear a thing he says, my mind is SO gone
What to do, i can't really decide
Actually, what i want i'm quite uncertain
Things progress at a snail's pace
I want him, this i know
But i'm starting to feel he's unattainable
And so, i begin my gradual fade into the background
II
The first meeting, i have to confess, was quite unexpected
To my surprise, conversation wasn't at all difficult
To be honest, i knew from that moment what was going on
Though short, it was absolutely memorable
I carried that memory with me throughout our time apart
And talking to him would always bring joy to my heart
Anxious, excited, elated, eager, keen, and somewhat uneasy
I had something to look forward to in this friggin' hell hole
I knew i had a friend, scratch that, much more than a friend
Time progresses, we move along, but things aren't the same
I try and try, and he does too, but it's out of control
And then, for a bit, it's okay again. Funny how things seem to work out
All those feelings, i should have followed my instinct, kept them hidden
Alas, it hurts worse than a stab to the heart, but i paste on a smile anyway
Our friendship's WAY too important to me to let go, it'll be okay
I should never have seen it, should have just walked away
Wouldn't have been any the wiser, there'd be no reason to feel this pain
Empty, alone, lonely, hollow, sad, hurt, without him, i feel
But deep down inside, i know i know, just too scared to admit it
Friends quite like no other, from the start, until the end
Still not letting go.........we'll be okay
III
OMG! I can't believe this is happening, actually, i can, but then again, i can't
I'm really not making a lot of sense, i know, not even to myself
Maybe you can begin to understand the way he makes me feel
It's been a while, but not that long, long enough anyway
Don't know much about him, haven't had the chance
See him almost everyday, never said a word
I wanted him so bad, for so long, and so did someone else
Interestingly, i really don't see her around anymore, but that's besides the point
I seem to always want things far out of my reach
Didn't really expect it to ever happen, but hey! what can i say
Sadly he thinks i'm totally buzzed, I'm not, but i'd rather he didn't know
Come to think of it, I'd rather no one know
We haven't really spoken since, not at all in fact, but it's no big
You see, I've come to learn to cherish memories and hold on to wishes
So wishes i wish, and dreams i dream, who knows what'll happen
I lay down to rest, but can't really do that, my mind's not ready quite yet
Away i sail on a cloud of what ifs, farther and farther, not sure where to
Patiently i'll wait, things always play out anyway.
The one who has my heart....at least for now anyway
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