Day 4

I turned 21 this year.

Honestly, I have to keep reminding myself of my age. It’s been a constant problem and I can’t wrap my finger around the reason why I simply cannot remember my own age.  

But that’s not the point.

Turning 21 was a milestone for me, and I’m writing about it because it was on that day that I truly was more depressed than I have been this entire year. And, surprisingly, it wasn’t because no one bothered to remember this time, or because I didn’t even have a cake or a party, or even because I didn’t get a single present (as usual). Believe it or not, I spent the entire day sulking about how everything I’d planned for my life had been shot to hell.

If you’ve read my earlier posts (from when I first started blogging) then you know what exactly I’m referring to. 2012 was supposed to be my year and I spent a whole day regretting all the ways it had turned out not to be.

But that’s the mistake I made. Looking back now I feel like going back in time and kicking myself out of bed. Probably shake some sense into the twat too.

I was so hung up on how many times I had supposedly failed and all the things I believe I had failed at when I should have been celebrating all the things that made 2012 such an awesome year. I wish I could really go into details about all the amazing stuff I’m talking about, but it’s a bit too personal. I know I keep saying that, but you’ll understand a bit better when my other posts go up later on.

This is probably one of the shortest posts I will write this month, and I just wanted to use the opportunity to tell you to be content. Seriously. You may not be where you want to be or where you think you ought to be, but God knows why you are where you are. The best you can do is ask for his guidance and try to fulfill the purpose he has outlined for you.

The more time you spend wishing things were different and regretting choices you made, the longer you delay that amazing plan God has for you. I kinda had to learn this the hard way, but you don’t have to.

I’m grateful I’m 21 (even though I forget). I’m grateful for the decisions I made that brought me to where I am right now. I’m not going to lie and say I’m perfectly happy, but I’m learning to be content and appreciative. Because as bad as I think I have it, there’s someone else out there who has it much worse than I do. And besides, God isn’t done with me yet.